Alexa was sitting cross legged before Sassie, with Aiov lying casually on the German Shepherd’s back. She had a metal bowl in her lap with chunks of fresh meat for Aiov and cooked meat for her large canine protector. It had been a difficult time as the dog had missed Aaron more and more, to the point that she had begun to refuse food. Aiov's enthusiasm, however, seemed to help slightly in countering that refusal, and Alexa had found that feeding them together at least got some food into the lonely Earth ambassador. She scratched at the dog’s head as Aiov happily chomped on another scrap of meat. “Look at that! You won’t be outdone by a leokit now, will you?” She placed a cube of seared meat before Sassie’s nose. She sniffed it twice before eating. “You’re going to be so spoiled by the time we get him back. We’ll both get in trouble.” Aiov snuggled into the thick black and tan fur, using her paw to guide the next morsel into her mouth. Sassie managed a few more pieces before turning her head away with a grunt. Satisfied with what she had achieved Alexa gave a few more scraps to Aiov before placing the bowl into the recycler. The loudspeakers throughout the Rinoxian vessel blared a loud message announcing they had now crossed into Hive space and that their readiness was being moved to level three. Her door chimed. Opening it, she found Allistan in his new Terran Wolves uniform. “You need to come quickly, the Porkchop Express has arrived.” As she grabbed Aaron's old leather jacket, Sassie immediately rose to follow which caused Aiov to roll to the floor. "You come," she spoke to the dog, then turned to the distinctly unhappy leokit who had just lost her warm pillow. "You stay, sorry.” They walked briskly through the corridors of the Rinoxian warship towards a secure meeting room which had two Terran Wolves outside the door. Their black uniforms and red collars were easily identifiable and they gave sharp salutes as Alexa approached. “I told you not to salute.” The two guards lowered their hands sheepishly as the doors opened. Sassie immediately surged past Alexa to happily greet the returning crew members. She moved from Ranjaz to Jaym, receiving many scratches and hugs. Even Eruwenn and Cygna received a quick examination, but she soon stopped when no sign of Aaron could be found. The German Shepherd forlornly returned to Alexa's side as the Awakened took a seat at the meeting table. “Is the room secure?” Cygna, now in a smart black uniform with white collar, stood. “We have taken additional precautions due to the sensitive information we will be discussing.” Tilting her head, Alexa took in the Fae’Dan’s new clothing. “You’re one of us now?” Eruwenn gave a slight chuckle. Aside from Alexa, she was the only one not in uniform. “She lost a game of dalcho, or two.” “Seven.” Ranjaz said with a wicked grin. “Don’t worry, she’s actually been a fairly competent assistant. Aside from her gambling issues, obviously.” Her head drooping to look at her feet, Cygna replied, “I swear by Tulseria’s right hand, I will get you back for this!” The Kittran’s grin grew more predatory. “Wanna bet?” There was a long table by the wall where Embar was fixing himself a drink, He turned, shaking his head. “I’m not sure I approve of your recruiting techniques.” The Kittran shrugged. “She’s worth it – even broke the code on this.” He tossed the recovered device onto the table as Embar returned and took his seat opposite him. “And, you’re going to want a stronger drink, General.” Curiosity piqued, Allistan took his seat, preparing his notepad and pen. “What did you find?” Ranjaz was about to speak when Eruwenn held up her hand. “I think we should let General Embar read this first. He can take a moment before we all continue.” Raising an eyebrow, Embar sat down in a nearby chair and connected the device to a non-networked datapad. “Why me?” He began scrolling through the files, tapping on icons and delving deeper. His breathing suddenly stopped, his face contorting. Disbelief morphed into anger, and as his body tensed, anger turned to white-hot rage. He placed the datapad down on the table before him and stood, walking back towards the drinks table. He lowered his head, his body radiating anger as his muscles clenched and unclenched, then raised his fist into the air and slammed it into the table. Bottles, glasses and everything else it had held went crashing to the ground as it buckled under force of his blow. “We’re going to kill every last one of those Sentinel bastards!” No longer smiling, Ranjaz stood. “You’re Tulseria damned right we are.” Jaym was sitting silently, but she pulled a rag from her pocket and dabbed at her tears. After they had fled from the casino she had tried to help crack the encryption on the stolen device. Part of her wished they never had, as its contents had disturbed her so much. Now that they had finally caught up with Alexa, Embar and the others who had been on the Rinoxian homeworld, she empathised deeply with the pain this information was bringing. “It’s so awful, I’m so sorry Embar.” Eruwenn patted the young Arkellian on the shoulder to comfort her as she looked at the Rinoxian. “Please believe me, General Warbringer. The council knew nothing of this.” Alexa picked up the datapad, using her nanites to more quickly access the information. She grit her teeth, biting back her anger, then passed it quickly to Allistan. “You need to read this. Then we need to plan our next move.” She looked at the back of the unmoving Rinoxian. “Embar?” Embar slowly turned around, his jaw set, determination in his eyes. “We keep this quiet. We’re on an active mission and need everyone focused on the job at hand.” Allistan went to click his pen as he read, but with a gasp the pen fell from his fingers. “We can’t keep quiet, the galaxy needs to see this.” The Rinoxian nodded. “They will. When the time is right.”
It had been two cycles and the incursion fleet had advanced deep into Hive space. Over half of the force accompanying them were the Rinoxians under their new Galactic Federation commanders. There were over a dozen Galactic Federation ships along with six Gowe destroyers, and a dozen ships from other races including the Niham and Kah’Ree. Admiral Pelar, on board the Blazing Dawn, commanded four Ashi ships including the Righteous Fury. The smallest craft by far was the Porkchop Express, a speck amongst titans. Its white painted hull, chrome bull bars and bright cartoon logo were a stark contrast to the military ships it accompanied. Sassie was more comfortable now that she was in familiar territory, and slept on a pile of Aaron’s clothes in his quarters. Allistan and Alexa were sitting opposite Jar’Bek in his small office. The Ashi looked exhausted as he finally put down his datapad. “I’m sorry to have kept you.” Allistan fidgeted in his seat. “Not at all, was that your mother again?” Stiffening slightly at the use of the word mother the lawyer forced himself to relax again. “Admiral Pelar has informed us that they have been repeatedly scanned by the Gowe. She’s taking no action, as we’re supposed to be allies, but wanted you to be aware.” Alexa nodded and he continued. “When we arrive at the next system the commanders of each ship have been called to the Hooves of Destiny. Vice-Admiral Koo Ji has requested an in person meeting, with all senior officers.” There were several pen clicks. “That seems unusual.” Jar’Bek gave a knowing nod. “Extremely. To remove every ship’s command, behind enemy lines? It makes no sense.” Alexa pushed her hair back from her face. “The Rinoxians agreed to it?” The Ashi nodded. “Most of their command have been replaced. Anyway, they outnumber – and outgun – the other ships. Why would they be concerned?” Allistan’s pen clicked. “They probably just put it down to Gal. Fed. protocols, or fear.” Jar’Bek nodded. “They’ve had us stopping in random systems to scan. No doubt it’s to delay us, but perhaps also to lower the Rinoxian’s guard?” Leaning back in her chair, the Awakened considered the options. “Maybe there's another fleet waiting to ambush us? Or following us?” Allistan twirled his pen in his fingers. “No, no. All eyes are on the border since Aaron’s capture. It must be something else.” Moving on to her next idea, Alexa asked, “Sabotage?” The Ashi gave a chuckle. “That is Admiral Pelar’s conclusion. The Gal. Fed. officers have been on board the other ships, and the possibility exists that there are Sentinels working amongst them. They are all in command positions, and will all be leaving. It’s a logical conclusion.” Allistan’s pen halted its spinning. “The Ashi ships, they can’t have been sabotaged, right?” The lawyer nodded. “True, but, it wouldn’t matter. Their ships are old and have seen too much action. Those Gowe ships alone are more than they could handle.” The Fae’Dan sighed and shook his head at the situation they were facing. “We should have brought more ships. The new ones.” Alexa, staring at the ceiling, spoke softly. “No, we don’t need to show our hand just yet. But send word to Chae’Sol, make sure he has the coordinates.” Jar’Bek nodded and made a note on his datapad. “What about the others?” The Awakened closed her eyes. It was times like this she missed her human and his habit of taking charge. “Tell Embar to warn his contacts among the Rinoxians. The others… I have no idea, I just want to sleep.” Allistan, a stickler for accuracy, replied, “I didn’t think Awakened slept?” She sat up and gave a half-hearted smile. In an unusual moment of vulnerability, she replied, “I was told you can do anything in a dream. For those moments, we would all be together again.” Allistan struggled to come up with a response to that, and the Ashi, having noticed this, stepped in to fill the gap in conversation. “We’ll find him. I can’t lose the most profitable client in the galaxy now, can I?” Now past the moment of awkwardness, the Fae’Dan also answered. “I’m sure he’s fine. In fact, he’s probably already on his way back to us.” Alexa gave Allistan a withering look. “You think he single-handedly defeated the Hive, stole a ship and managed to figure out how to fly it back here?” The former Inspector paused to consider it. “No. It will most likely be something even more preposterous. Perhaps he married their Queen?” The ridiculousness of the idea brought a chuckle to the Awakened. “Maybe. Hopefully nothing that drastic; he’d probably just turn their society upside down with some ridiculous scheme.” Jar’Bek also smiled. “A little civil unrest, perhaps a few riots? No doubt with merchandise.” Finally breaking into a broad grin, Alexa replied, “I think we all might be over-estimating him a little.”
Aaron stood in the trade area of Toivoa station with a contingent of Gardener Royal Guards behind him, Tsy’Lo by his side, and a very angry mob in front of him. Several well-dressed local leaders were dragged from the crowd to stand before him; Mycena, Tricinic, Procyon and a dozen other refugee races were crammed into the triple height area of the station. One of the leaders staggered towards Aaron. “You! You caused this!” Aaron, feigning as much innocence as possible, pointed to his chest. “Me?” One of the Mycena he had met during his time on the station came forward. “We’ve all seen the videos! They kept us in the dark about what is going on out there! The Galactic Federation are coming! Our leaders lied to us!” The accusatory leader, a Procyon with greying fur, pointed at Aaron. “Your... Your propaganda, has driven them mad! Your lies! They’re destroying the station!” The human smiled and maintained his innocent expression. “My propaganda?” Several in the crowd held up datapads; Aaron’s smiling face was on every one. “Oh... that propaganda.” Tsy’Lo tugged on his sleeve. “What did you do?!” Aaron crouched down slightly. “Remember when I accidentally picked up the kids datapad and you returned it?” “Yes…” The Tricinic flushed orange as realisation struck. “It wasn’t the child’s datapad!” Aaron straightened up. “Yeah, thanks for helping bring down society.” He laughed as Tsy’Lo became a very opaque green hue. “Don’t worry, I’ve got an idea.” The greying Procyon shook his fist at the human. “You better! They should throw you in a cage for the rest of your life for this. Hundreds of celes of peace, destroyed!” Aaron looked down at the angry alien. “Your peace, not theirs.” He gestured back towards the Gardeners, and walked towards them without waiting for a reply. He raised his hands high, motioning for the unruly mob to settle down. “Alright, alright. Settle down, munchkins. So the wizard’s a liar? Welcome to reality. The Gardeners have been fighting and dying to keep you safe from the flying monkeys, while you all hide in your Emerald City and get on with your lives. That shit ends now. You’re crying out for change? Then welcome to the revolution, baby! We’re opening up the borders, we’re rejoining the rest of the galaxy! No more hiding!” The crowd was already worked up, and cheering came easily despite the large lack of understanding. The human nodded — he was enjoying this far too much — and then gestured again for quiet. He spoke quietly at first, adding excitement to his voice as it built in power. “So prepare for a chance of a lifetime! Be prepared for sensational news!” The Procyon official’s mouth opened and closed silently before he managed to shake his mind free of the initial shock of the human’s words. “No! Stop! What are you even saying?” Aaron didn’t care about the official. He put the palm of his hand on their face, which easily dwarfed it in size, and gently pushed them slowly backwards. He then leapt up onto a crate; his showmanship on camera was nothing to his on-stage presence. “A shining new era is tiptoeing nearer, and where do you feature? Just listen to teacher! You’ve stagnated here for long enough. Lied to and kept in the dark, well, no more!” The crowd was his, he knew it. The official knew it. Tsy’Lo knew it and was a nervous shade of blue. Aaron clambered from the crate to the roof of a stall, standing high above the crowd. The cheers followed every rambling sentence and, drunk on power, Aaron was loving it. “Spread the word to every planet, every station, every colony and every ship. Change is not coming, it’s here and it is now!” The crowd roared again, and the desperate official turned to Tsy’Lo. “What in the nine moons is he talking about?” “I’ll tell you what I’m talking about.” Aaron snapped. He stood looking out over the crowd. “I am the Ambassador of a world called Earth. I have taken ownership of a small star system that is being colonised as we speak. These colonies are a coalition of races, from within the Federation, as well as without. We rule ourselves, but have treaties and agreements with the Federation itself, as well as various individual races within it.” Several questions were called out from the crowd, but one voice was louder than the others. “How does that help us?” With a smile, the human walked back and forth across the roof of the stall as he spoke. “Good question my friend.” He pointed vaguely at where the voice had come from. “I do not have contact with my homeworld at this time. To ensure that all of whatever Earth has become would be included we put in place clauses for future territories, dominions, settlements etc, etc…” The crowd was quiet now, trying to follow the human’s explanation. Looking out at the blank faces Aaron realised he needed to get to the point. “Congratulations, you’re now a protectorate of Earth!”
He was met with utter silence.
Suddenly, there were several angry yells from the crowd, some claiming this was a joke while others were simply confused. The official was the one who dared clamber to the crate below Aaron in order to yell up to him. “Are you insane?” Aaron’s smile made Tsy’Lo shudder, as it was the same one he had given as he had explained his idea to the Gardener Queen. The human stepped forward to stand at the front of the stall roof. “I declared war on the Gardeners. The war lasted seven Earth minutes, and was quickly resolved when the Queen surrendered to me in person.” Silence fell once again, and Aaron found himself half-yearning for the sound of crickets to emphasize the moment. The crowd erupted once more, outrage at the ridiculous claims the strange alien was spewing forth. Tsy’Lo released a deafeningly loud harmonic whistle which was followed by another momentary quiet. They paled as the crowd's attention fell on them. “You need to listen, all of you. He is speaking the truth, sort of. He held the Queen and the Gardeners council hostage with a bomb.” Small grey particles filled the Tricinic at the memory of being used as a weapon. The crowd began to grow rowdy at this news, causing Tsy’Lo to let off another sonic blast. “It is all a human trick; once we are part of his alliance we fall under the treaties he already has in place.” The crowd looked back up to the human. “Like I said, congratulations. You just walked in through the backdoor of a peace treaty with the Galactic Federation, and over a dozen separate treaties with other races.” The crowd were now arguing amongst themselves. The official - who Aaron was now mentally calling Gobshite - once again challenged him. “At what cost, though? What do you get out of this?” The smile of mischief once more graced the human’s lips and Tsy’Lo considered pulling him down from his stage. They had been on their way to the border when news of the riots on Toivoa reached them. Aaron’s presence had been demanded and he had happily accepted. The human looked almost as gleeful as that moment of acceptance when he spoke again. “Me? I get to go home. I get friends with big sticks. I get to trade openly with you, and believe me, I have a lot of crap to sell you.” He chuckled. “You get to be part of the galaxy again. You get to travel and trade. Our rules are simple and fair; everyone is equal under the law. You have exactly the same rights as everyone else who joined us. And the cost?” He paused for effect, making sure they were all paying attention. “You stand on your own two feet.” He glanced around, noting the sheer diversity of the crowd. “Or one foot... or four... Or whatever it is you’re balancing on.” The crowd was a buzz of conversation, and Gobshite once again chimed in. “You think they’ll let us back without a fight? We can expose them! Those bastards tried to exterminate us!” The crowd jeered along with the old Procyon. Aaron held up his hands. “Woah, woah. Only some of them. That’s the thing, there are a lot more members now. So here’s the plan: shut up. If you don’t say anything, they sure as shit aren’t going to out themselves, are they? While everyone is staring at the former Hive terror that they all feared, you guys just start working and trading, nice and quiet.” A few murmurs of agreement came from the crowd. Gobshite, however, was more than a murmur. “You want us to forget our ancestors suffering?” A little irritated, Aaron was more harsh than he intended. “You’ve wallowed in it long enough. Look at you, hiding for generations, keeping your communications to a minimum to avoid detection. Is this all some master plan as you build an army to seek revenge? Fuck no!” He saw the shame on their faces. “You’re happy to leave this status quo to future generations? You want to remember the suffering of your ancestors, fine, build a fucking statue. But don’t hold back your children to do it.” The crowd were growing louder again as they discussed his words. “Look!” the human yelled. “I’m not saying you forget, or forgive. I’m saying you keep your mouths shut. We won’t announce your presence to the Federation. Instead, I want those of you looking to start something new to come join the new colonies. No big fanfares, just get on with it. In a place filled with different races, you’ll just be another stranger.” He saw the crowd looking at each other, and knew was a lot to take in all at once. “We gather evidence, build trust. Get yourselves established, forge friendships and alliances, and become accepted as part of the new colonies. Let those in the know think their past crimes are forgotten. And when we are ready, we burn down their false history and anyone who tries to defend it!” The crowd cheered once more, and Aaron smiled triumphantly down at Tsy'Lo as he leapt casually from the roof. As he landed, many hands patted his back and many questions were yelled, but it all ceased as one of the Gardeners stepped forward. It was Eridor, as there was no mistaking the red cape he wore. "We need to leave, the Federation have entered our space.” Next
I was asked to make a post about some stories within the Casino grounds so I thought I'd share. I have many so I'll do my best to pick the better ones. Some back information: I've been a Casino Dealer for 11 years, I've been a supervisor for five years, and I've been a Surveillance Operator for one year. I've worked at three properties, none of which are connected or owned by the same company. I've worked on : Government/Private/Native American owned casinos.
From Hero to Zero.
At my first Casino, I was one of the first group of people who were trained to deal Roulette . After 4 weeks of working 6PM-3AM then doing roulette training from 3AM-8AM (Not paid) , I actually really enjoyed the game and after about six months I became extremely quick at the number game and the pace of the action was steady with very low margin of errors. Young man walks in, cashes in for $500. He buys in for $2 chips and just loads the board. After a few spins and pretty decent hits, he then changes his chips from $2 to 5$ then to $10 and racks his winnings up to $10,000. It was then, five spins in a row, he loaded the board with some pretty gross bets, and every spin I would hit the ONE number with either NO CHIPS on it, or maybe 1 chip , He lost all $10,000 in a matter of minutes. He leaves , and I go on break. After my break I was going back to the same table and wouldn't you know it, the same young man walks in and cashes in another $500. He tells me he just sold his car outside and this is all that he had left. So we do the same deal, buys in for $2 chips, then slowly starts betting $5 chips, $10, $25...and he makes $10,000 AGAIN. Within the next 25 minutes it was straight agony. Every spin, same thing, he would bet $2500 in chips, and win only $250, $400, and after about a half hour he lost it all . Never saw the guy again. 2) Man down At this property, we are 24 hours for table games. It's currently 5AM , and I'm dealing some $25 Blackjack to this guy. He's probably early thirties , heavy guy. He's sober as can be, but right away I can tell he's been losing. We know how much you've bought in for, how much your down, or up, and I could see he was down $2000+. After about twenty minutes of pure losing, his temper starts to flare.At this point I now have two other guests at my table. Drinking coffee, not saying a word, just losing their money. After losing hand, after hand, this guy looks me straight in the eye, seized up, starts shaking, he can't move. He tries to punch towards me and smashes his stack of chips all over the place and falls backwards to the floor. I call for security, we cannot touch him due to liability . I can't move from my table because, well, liability / casino cash property, all I can do is try to talk to him. As I'm doing so, these other two woman who are sitting at my table just look at me and one says "OK, dealer, cmon lets go " as she taps the table telling me to start dealing and forget about the guy having a stroke on the floor. As security takes him to the ambulance out front, I had to stay behind for a couple minutes and give a statement. I go on break. I come back, and 45 minutes later, he comes right back in with a oxygen tank and keeps gambling for the remainder of the morning. 3) You get a dildo, and YOU get a dildo! On a late summer Saturday night, we had a large event for these massive muscle guys/strongman competition type thing. After their show, I'm at the roulette table , and five of these boys come over to play. They were absolutely hilarious. They were feeling pretty good, cashed in somewhat large amounts and I could tell this was going to be a fun time. After about a hour of dealing to these guys, it's almost midnight, everybody is pretty hammered , I spin the ball, and all five of these guys take out these god damn (what I can only tell was) two feet purple dildos from inside their pants, and wiping them around in the air. The ladies were just loving it, one of the dildos landed in the roulette wheel and we had to shut the table down to re-calibrate the wheel to make sure nothing had been changed. I just remember that night was so much damn fun, I couldn't believe what I was seeing and I would never forget it. 4) Full Moon On this day, I was actually training dealers / supervising them on small games like Three Card poker. We opened the table at 10AM, and this older man came and sat down . He played all day. The jackpot was $21,000 and that was pretty high for this table. He played, and played and played. He's one of the players where you know he's wearing a diaper because he's been drinking coffee/pop all day and hasn't moved in eight hours. As the day went on, this man never moved from his chair. Getting closer to midnight, he was aggravated and said "I need to go have a smoke, I'm getting killed in here". He left, and the very next hand, the lady beside him was dealt the jackpot . He didn't say much, but you could just tell he just hated life at that very moment because had he not gotten up, it would of been his hand. The man calmly took his cane , his hat, jacket, coffee, and left. The next morning I found out when he did leave he drove his car straight through his bank and was arrested. 5) Slick Robber I actually give props to people who can actually pull this off. This story may confuse you so I'll try and explain things as best as possible. A lot of casinos have machines as soon as you walk through the front doors. A man walks up to one of these machines and sticks in HIS $100 bill. He doesn't gamble it, instead he hits the cash out button and gets a $100 TITO ticket where he then takes the ticket to the ATM machine to get his $100. Now remember, his Original $100 is in the slot machine. He then takes the $100 from the ATM and goes back to the same machine, and repeats this process over a hundred times. Essentially he's taking money from the ATM, and loading up the Slot Machine . Now he knows he can't do it too much because if the slot machine gets full of money, the machine will shut down and the slow attendant will have to take all the cash out. So he deposits over $10,000 , then has a small crowbar, he cracks the machine open and makes a run out the front door. To my knowledge he was never caught . But damn, that was pretty smart . EDIT: 6) Mental Health is a thing. 10PM man walks in to play some high limit BlackJack. This guy knows the game and played well. Dressed nice, drank juice/tea , a little bit of a attitude, cashed in over $10,000. When this man was half way down his buy in, he said something a long the lines of "If I don't win here tonight, I'm going to go set myself on fire." I wasn't sure if he was serious because when people are down, they tend to say a lot of nonsense. I actually left early that night, and from a third party was told he did exactly that in the parking lot. The next day it was clear something terrible had gone wrong in the parking lot . EDIT: 7) Nothing good happens after midnight After a busy Saturday night, I was dealing a mix of games, and during this story I was in the middle of Blackjack. I had one young kid (probably 19) sitting in the middle, one older male probably in his later 40's sitting beside him on his right, and I had a really nice couple in their 20's sitting together at the other side. This young kid wasn't playing just sort of watching, and ever time the old man won he would give this young guy some of his winnings. The older man, was a wine drinker, and he had black between all of his teeth, I'll never forget. He's a little drunk but nothing terrible. As the night goes on, the older man goes and uses the washroom, at which point the couple asked the young guy "Oh was that your dad?" and the young guy says "Hah, no I wish!". The couple and I just looked at each other. This old guy, was in complete control over this kid. Absolutely disgusting. The night ends, and I find out the couple called a few of their friends, and they all waited outside by this old mans truck and beat the living hell out of him. 40 years old, sleeping with a 19 year old, completely brain washed . Very weird. 8) That one co-worker where you just wish they would quit. One of our co-workers, nice guy but had a very big ego and we as employees just sorta left him alone. One day he had enough of the atmosphere and quit. Now usually when you quit, you cannot come back until you paperwork is finalized. How ever, HR was in that day, and he was given the paperwork the very next day. He came in, cashed in $1000, and made $50,000 in about a hour at the Baccarat table. My manager, was extremely annoyed, because now this guy is just mocking the casino and having the time of his life (Thanks for the big tip by the way :) ) and so he decides to call it quits. He wants to ban himself and he wants $50,000 in cash. The casino says Nope, we are going to give you a cheque. Now here's the thing, most business people will take the cheque, how ever you CANT CASH the cheque until the following monday because it's on that day where the funds are available. The casino on the other hand will cash their own check in anytime , because they want you to play. So this guy pretty much said go to hell I want my cash, and he called the police. Police show up, and management promptly gave him the cash.I though it was absolutely hilarious . 9) No good deed goes un punished I was dealing Three Card Poker, and the jackpot was around $17,000. This old man (a regular) was sitting there all day grinding it out. Super nice guy, always a pleasure to deal to. Well, after hours of playing, he stands up and says "Hey john!, can you come here for a minute?" so his buddy John comes over. He says to John "I need to go take a piss real quick, can you play my card until I get back?" John agrees . John takes the chips and I stop him and explain he can't play his friends chips, he needs to cash in and play his own. And he does. Welp, second hand out and bam, doesn't he win it. The old man comes back and is so happy, he can't believe it. John, took his $17,000, didn't say a word to his "buddy" and walked away. I never felt so much hatred in all my life. Didn't give him a dollar, not a thank you, nothing. The old man sits back down again, the progressive resets to $2500, and he sat there grinding away again. 10) The Top Knot I had this player , young guy, who was born into a fortune. One of his relatives passed away and left him a pretty big sizable amount of money, so he played poker every single day for the rest of his days. I will add, he IS a good player. I did not enjoy his company just because of the "Know-it-All" attitude, but he was good. We'll call him John. John is 5'10, and well build, with muscle. John also decided today was the day to show off his Top Knot. (google top knot if you're not sure what I mean) So he sits down, and he's absolutely KILLING the table. Every hand, after hand, after hand. And because he's in such a good mood, he's playing any two cards, calling any $500 bet, and he's just dominating. This one guy at the table decided he had enough. He got up, without saying a word and left. A moment later, he comes back in, walks behind John, and takes a pair of scissors , and cuts off his Top Knot. I for one couldn't believe it, dying laughing inside, and it just turned into one big brawl. That was a good day. 11) That one bad seed One of my best friends who I haven't seen in YEARS ended up being part of the crew. Was kind of nice to catch up. We never really got along as we grew up because he has a very high picture of himself . He wanted that 10/10 woman. A mansion, and a new Corvette. So every month or so we would all go up to the other casino to play. I myself would bring no more than $500, but I couldn't understand how this guy (we'll call him Kyle) was spending THOUSANDS of dollars at the tables. So this wen on for a few months. Well, one day, as we're closing the casino, he and I are in the High Limit room and we're getting ready to close the tables. We are told to take the chips out, count them, put them back, sign this piece of paper and that's it. Well as the supervisor was locking the tray, the piece of paper fell to the floor, so she asked Kyle to grab the piece of paper. As he bends over, a great big $500 chip falls right out of his sock. Kyle was fired immediately , but it all made sense. They offered Kyle a deal where if he replaced all the stolen chips they would not make it public. Not sure how that turned out. 12) If I ever decide to write a book, this will be the last chapter: <3 After working at my first Casino for five years, I met a Indian woman who was visiting from another part of the country. During this time I was explaining a game to her, which honestly I don't think she even cared. She explained she was visiting and sight seeing , and that was that.Well, two years later I ended up moving to the other side of the country and transferred casinos, and low and behold she worked there as a Dealer. We got married , and it's been 5 years. 13) The Tip One of our tables that we've had for a couple years had a progressive jackpot that had reached $100,000. The dealer at the table was sitting pretty lonely. Nobody really played the game because people knew it was extremely difficult to win the jackpot. My memory is a tad foggy, but you somehow needed to flop the royal flush. This young guy sits down and says to the dealer, we'll call him John. "John, if you pay me that jackpot, I will tip you $10,000" Well John started dealing, and about a half hour into his shift, he F*cking did it. He dealt him the royal. And you know something?This young lad, kept his word, and he made sure there was a audience, and he tipped exactly $10,000. That was a moment right there. That pay cheque was real nice. I think we all got about $500 more than usual. The moment that jackpot was awarded they got rid of the table because the money it was making was not near what the casino wanted. I'm sure there have been bigger tips at other casinos, but that was something special . 14) The Lawsuit Now this story I'm going to have to beat around the bush a bit due to the nature of what happened. I can't won't answer any questions that you may have on this topic other than what I have to say because it had a lot of publicity . The waitresses at this casino had to wear very thin sexy clothes. Not borderline legal, but it was noticed. One day they called all the waitresses to come in and explained they were changing their outfit to something even more sexier. Now these new dresses were very very borderline legal . The staff said No way. We're not wearing that.So , friday night comes, and the staff work their whole shift, then at the end of their shift were called into a meeting and were all fired. Welp, one of those ladies father was a pretty big time lawyer. Brough the casino to court and won. They won big. Good for them. We had no waitresses for a couple days haha. Thanks for reading along, I have many more I can add as the day goes on, those were just some off the top of my head. Feel free to ask any questions of the Casino industry. I don't really have many stories about the surveillance department because that's the one area where I can't really say a whole lot due to its privacy and contracts I was and still am under.
Your party is sailing or traveling in a submersible (like the Apparatus of Kwalish) and interesting things besides combat happen!
A storm blows in and something strange is washed aboard the ship. You decide! (1d4):
Treasure.
A mermaid.
A strange, half drowned bird.
A dead deep sea fish.
Your submersible travels through a dense forest of Kelp and the propeller gets tangled and the party has to figure out how to dislodge without getting the bends/while under the immense atmospheric pressure under the sea.
The sounds of unearthly singing reach your ears from across the water. You find the remains of ships and sirens (mermaid like tricksters), but the sirens appear to have left.
A whirlpool full of teeth opens up just ahead of your ship and you have to sail to avoid it (think Scylla and Charybdis).
The seagulls are joined by other types of birds in the sky - perhaps something has gone awry on the land (perhaps a major forest fire).
Bio-luminescent jelly fish bloom at night, lighting up the water around you, creating a romantic and breathtaking atmosphere.
You find a dingy afloat all alone on the sea with a child/NPC with a story hook aboard.
The stowaway is revealed after someone finally took inventory of the stowed supplies below deck when the chocolate was disappearing in larger quantities than expected.
Seasoned sailors get seasick as you realize maybe something is wrong with the food.
You see a gargantuan entity on the horizon and the sailors start to tell tales. You decide! (1d4)
Uk'otoa.
Dragon Turtles.
Giant Hermit Crabs.
Sea Serpents.
You hit the doldrums. There is no wind and no current. The ship you are on has to wait until the wind starts again. Escape?
The wind only starts on a natural 20 roll on a d20.
Every day that passes uses up rations and fresh water.
Once the food runs out, and the PCs begin to starve (failed CON roll with increaseing daily DC starting at 10) they may well begin to go insane.
Cannibalism will resolve any hunger issues.
You find a message in a bottle floating near the ship. It's from a father to his children, writing to tell them how much he misses them while he's on the high seas. Optional bonus quest to find the children and deliver the letter.
One of the crew members caught a magical talking fish. The fish claims that if you set him free, he'll grant you a wish.
A dolphin has been following the ship for three days. A. If treated kindly, the dolphin shows the way to a hidden lagoon with treasure. B. Treated badly, the dolphin and its friends make a large hole in the bottom of the ship.
Things are going missing from the deck of the ship. If investigated, it's a bird. The bird has built a nest and is clearly trying to impress a potential mate with its newfound collection.
A strange formation of rocks appears a ways off the shoreline of an island. Closer inspection reveals that these are not rocks, but bones from an ancient dragon. Perhaps the hoard is somewhere nearby?
A sea witch happens upon the ship. She gives the party the "gift of communication" and casts a friendly spell before going on her way. The enchantment is aimed at the ship. For the next 14 days, the ship is sentient and can communicate with the crew. And boy oh boy, does this ship have some opinions!
A wave washes a large shell onto the deck of the ship. It's a instrument, and the first person to pick it up gains proficiency in playing the shell. The shell can lull any baby in a 10 foot radius into a peaceful slumber.
Fair wind: you arrive sooner
Shitty wind: you are forced to sail around your destination to gain favorable wind. Arrive later. Tacking negates this somewhat
A storm rolls in, but is just rain
A storm rolls in and creates fog, travel is slowed, but less than bad winds. A measure of a few hours, not days.
Two ships are fighting
A ship is fighting a kraken
A storm rolls in. Its a maelstrom
A traveling sea merchant rolls by.
Come across ship wreckage
Come across a patch of darker water that slows the ship
Ghost ship arises on the new moon is empty
Ghost ship arises on the full moon and is crewed by skeletons
Smaller ship tries to square up
Bigger ship bullies you until you pay a toll or tax, fights if you refuse
An island is sighted, but is not there when you arrive
An island appears on the horizon where you JUST checked (its an island turtle)
A rock appears where you swear there was nothing beforw (its a Gargantuan hermit crab)
You see an undersea fight that causes the sea to roll and boil, sometimes popping up above water
Coral reef! On a failed perception roll, boat takes damage and must be repaired. On a 1 it must be repaired 2x, once to stop it from sinking, and then again at port. A giant serpent surfaces and eyes the boat, eventually moving on
An empty ship rolls by, slowly. (Mimic ship with oozes below)
The sounds of unearthly singing reach your ears from across the water. You consider going after them, but decide not to (wis save)
Your rowboat ropes start to snap! Make a dex save, mending check, strength saving throw to save it.
A comet streaks across the sky
Aurora Borealis
You hear rumbling off in the distance. A volcanic island is erupting!
Seals follow the boat for a while.
A giant koi fish (river) or whale shark (sea) lazily circles the boat, then flips down to the depths
A GIANT WHALE APPEARS!
Takes a chunk of the boat
Bumps the boat off course
leaps over the boat and hits the mast on its way
smacks the boat with its tail doing damage
The waves grow choppy and the wind picks up. Unless intentionally slowing the boat, you get to your destination faster, but your boat might take damage
The bard begins to play a sea shanty. You all join in and have a great time
A massive, huge, giant, monsterous shark fin is seen. It then disappears without a trace
A Blue Whale (100+ feet long) breaks the water and bumps the boat
A Megalodon bites the stern of the boat, requiring repairs 2x. Trip is delayed by a few hours.
The sea grows calm. No magic works. Then, just as suddenly, the wind picks up, magic starts up, everything is normal
You see something sparkling on the beach of a small uncharted island.
You see something sparkling on an uncharted island. Its a message in a bottle
You pass by an uncharted island and see a fire. Its a marooned pirate, someone lost, nothing.
An albatross takes a rest on your boat for a while, then flies off
You see circling seagulls off in the distance. When you arrive there, there are some floating barrels with a dead body lashed to it, rum inside, food inside, repair supplies inside, cannonballs inside, treasure inside, an animal inside, barely clinging to life, a castaway bobbing in a barrel. You see a crate in the water. It has cannons, wood, food, ale, plants, silks, spices, sugar, a note atop showing a delivery island that is where you came from, the island you're going to, an island near it, an island you've never heard of, an island that Nobody has ever heard of.
A giant squid comes near the surface near the boat to warm up in the sun. Curious about your presence, it follows your ship for several hours before disappearing back into the depths.
A dragon swoops by, catching a ton of fish in its mouth, then flying away
A dragon attacks the ship, but is shown to be an illusion. You dont know from where it came.
Baba yaga, but it's an outpost on a rock
Giant hippocampus swims next to the boat and tries to get the party to throw it treats.
You fall off the ship! Before you can cry out the ship is already sailing on its way and you are lost overboard. Just as you begin to despair, a friendly merfolk swims up and asks if you need help. If you explain what happened, they kindly offer to return you to the ship.
As you keep watch, you look over the side. Roll a percentage dice. (1-10, 90-100 its real) you see a small creature tearing out boards to the side of the ship! Then as you look they vanish, and you hear a commotion from the other side of the boat.
A group of sea elves herding whales ask for help locating a missing calf
While sailing at night, the ship passes through a patch of bioluminescent algae
The ship gets lost in a magnetic field anomaly which causes their compass to spin wildly. A DC 17 survival check will get them out but off course. A 20 or higher will get them out while maintaining the proper course
A merchant vessel: a vessel that is a small market place, stocking rope, lantern oil, medical supplies, preserved foods, and other ship-borne essentials, maybe weapon maintenance, potions of healing and water breathing, that kind of thing. put some guards on it: a blackguard, a champion, and a warlord.
You encounter a Kelp Forest, a portion of the sea where the Kelp stalks stretch high above the waves, at least 40 to 50 feet. Who knows what kind of beasts might linger in the fog, nesting amongst the broad leaves and seed pods.
A pod of whales swims along side the submersible, a sudden wave lunges the sub to one side as a Roc dives into the water and grabs a whale. The roc's flapping and thw whales panic make for extremly difficult seas and the crew of the sub will needs to sucseed in a skill challenge to prevent catostophic failure of the machine.
An Iceberg that has been carved to be an Ice lich fortress on its underside sawrms with undead such as Merpires and Great Wight Sharks. The Party will have to find ways to make their vessal steathy or face a dire situation. (If in warmer climes, the Iceberg can be replaced with a floating coral fortress and the Ice Lich with a Merpire (Merfolk Vampire) Lord.)
The Party see a lake of dark liquid on the bottom of th sea bed. The substance is "Brine" super salty water that is low in oxygen, only the most hard bacteria can survive in it. it is used by many subnautical peoples as a holy sight to entomb their dead. . . Often with gold and pearls. When the Party are down in the lake, somethng knocks on the hatch.
The party comes across an abandoned ship, it’s in perfect condition and the party can’t tell why it’s been abandoned
You come across a huge abyssal plane of downed airships on the ocean floor after a dogfight. The ghosts all come to you to help them get home.
home (denial)
travel
ascend
seize (haunt/poltergeist)
A methane vent on the ocean floor causes anything in the area to sink at 10’ per round.
The lookout can see multiple sources of light below the water. If the party investigates they find a small village of sea people living in bubbles 100 meters below the surface. The bubbles contain oxygen and are possible to move through but also stand on.
You meet another ship, a merchant ship. However, you are informed that this particular ship used to be quite known for his crew and their deals … Until they sank 2 years ago
The ship is run aground on a sandbank (more plausible in archipelagos/shallow waters), so the players must find a way to dig the ship out or use enough force to push off from the bank (but not too much force to break the ship!)
You pass ovearound an island recently submerged underwater by rising sea levels (natural or otherwise). The tops of trees and buildings peak over the lapping waves, and if you glance down and squint you can make out the signs of a civilisation eradicated; fish swimming about abandoned hovels, overturned carts floating by, and even the occasional ghost wandering down dead roads.
Far in the distance, you can make out a naval battle raging. The distant thunder of cannons and a faint smell of brimstone linger in the air. Eventually one ship keels over, sinking beneath the waves.
A half-sunken ship containing a hag. She'll promise them anything they want in exchange for safe passage back. Obviously a monkeys paw scenario, helps a lot with the overtly good paladins etc
Found a floating city made from various buoyant materials.
Found a Djinn in a bottle.
Meet a trading Merfolk, selling anything they found on the seabed.
A dormant ship floating on the sea during the day. When checked, all the ship's crew are vampires, sleeping.
Your ship sails into a big area of thick, sticky gloop, stopping the ship's motion, trapping any oars submerged into the gloppy mass, and clogging up any rudders. How are you going to get out of this one? gargantuan sea-gelatinous cube!?
A Triton appears before your submersible anf flashes a big message, word by word, using Minor Illusion: "STOP!" "MIGRATING" "KRAKEN!" "TURN" "BACK" "NOW!"
A long riverboat is seen at the mouth of a river pouring into the sea. A closer investigation reveals it is a casino boat!
A ship rolls up on you, but it's someone going where you are and they challenge you to a race to get there. No magic can be used, some magic, all bets are off. They wager gold, a piece of information, a magic item. They are true to their word, they sail away, they attempt to destroy the ship, they vanish as you approach the island (they're ghosts) and you find the reward in the captains quarters.
You come across a large bed of giant clams/shellfish. They make for good eating and have several big pearls in them.
One foggy night you hear ghostly pirate shanties being sung over the waves. In the fog you can barely make out the black shape of a ghost ship before it disappears.
You spot a large kraken corpse with massive bite marks on it. Who could possibly do this damage?
While traveling through a kelp forest you see a raft of giant sea otters. Killing them for their fur will net you a ton of money at a market but is it worth earning the ire of a local sea goddess for doing it?
In the distance you sea a newly form volcano spewing out fire elementals to battle water elementals rising from the sea to snuff out the volcano.
A giant Octopus is tending their coral garden. They offer gold in exchange for seaweeds from far off places to put in their garden.
Has anyone featured an encounter with black smokers yet? Vents from the planets mantel spewing out pressurized boiling gas, causing pillars of what looks like black smoke underwater and a huge diversity of life that is strange and alien. You could combine that with a giant Bobbit worm made of smoke poking out of a portal to the elemental plane of fire. this is a vague idea.
Maybe come across some merfolk torturing a sapient giant electric eel, they are doing so to capture electricity that powers a magic artifact that keeps a merfolk child alive. free the eel and the child dies. leave it and a living thinking creature is tortured slowly to death.
While you observe the sea you notice a big shadow appear under the boat. A BIG shadow. A massive sea creature appears.
While sailing, suddenly it gets more and more foggy till you can barely see anything anymore. Suddenly you see a hazy ship coming out of the water and getting closer to you. The crew doesn't look normal (Black Pearl inspired)
You travel a long time on a boat with only a few passenger, you eat regularly together in the small tavern style restaurant on the boat and basically know all passengers by face. One day one of them disappears. Next day another one, and another one. The rest passengers get suspicious. The persons are nowhere to be found. The PCs try to investigate. In the end turns out a vampire is on the boat coming out when its cloudy or raining. (Dracula Series on Netflix, Second Episode)
Bonus: Combat Encounters 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10. 11. 12. 13. 14. Edit 1: General comment about struggling with sub-lists. This got deleted in the great silliness of 11:30p on 7/11/2020 (see edit 2). Edit 2: Well. Dang. That will teach me to edit and post only on a web form without a back up copy I had 78 things with complex lists for some of them and accidentally saved over them and lost all of that data. I'll have to redo it. Please don't down vote me in the meantime. I spent like 5 hours on it this afternoon and I'm devastated that I lost it all... Edit 3: I've made a simple redo of the 5 hours of work and saved it elsewhere. It does not reflect the synthesizing of comments and repeats, the separating of combat from non-combat in people's suggestions, the removing of cuss words, the grammatical edits, or the embellishing that I did. I plan to do that in the next couple of days, but here is something in case you were counting on this list like tomorrow or something. Please note that the numbers may change on entries and if you comment on a specific entry, you may want to quote some of the content too. There are 20 of these that were originally combined, moved into combat, or otherwise not included in version 1. Edit 4: the list says 100 but there are combat encounters in there. I still want to re-synthesize the list when I have a couple hours. I want to break out combat separate from non-combat, and possibly separate on the ocean vs. underwater.
I started writing the backstory of my Star Wars Saga Edition character, but gave up when the game fell apart
Sozafi Zae had the wind knocked out of them as they slammed into the ceiling, and then they braced for a fall that never came. Being violently thrown into the air had been jarring enough, but there’s no way they could be so rattled they’d miss the return trip, could they? They tentatively opened one eye. The floor loomed over--under?--them. At least the carpet in this penthouse was really soft. Maybe they’d only break one or two ribs, tops. Probably an arm. “You picked the wrong apartment to rob, kid,” the old togruta woman said with a yawn. In all the excitement of somehow finding themself pressed to the ceiling, Sozafi had almost forgotten about the person who put her there… Onoam was beautiful, especially at night, when Naboo could be seen hanging in the sky. Or, Sozafi supposed, Onoam was hanging in Naboo’s sky. There was too much light pollution out there to really see many of the stars tonight, with all of the night culture still going strong, but some nights, when things were calm, Sozafi could still tell they were there. They could draw in the deep air of the sea and feel the galaxy swirling, the hundreds of beings in the city all milling about in gambling dens and restaurants and theaters. This wasn’t really one of those nights. Naboo was nothing but a large teal marble peeking out from behind the heavy grey-black clouds. Rain had begun to fall, a light drizzle that made it all the more dangerous to be clinging to the side of a building. Moments earlier, the twenty something scrumrat had miraculously made it to the third floor, scaling the side of the building in a few bounds. It was a talent she had. If they concentrated, and got a running start, they could feel the world at just a slightly different angle. It was liberating to move through a space like that, feeling the ground retreat. That was how Sozafi made a living as a second-story-neutrois. They were charismatic, and could be charming enough to steal from the tourists, but getting right into the apartments of the wealthy was always a lot more lucrative. Most people wouldn’t bother locking their balcony windows. After all, how would anyone get up there? That wasn’t the case this time. The mark had actually taken precautions. That was just fine. They pulled out a set of security tools and knelt down at the lock, getting to work. With a little bit of concentration, Sozafi could feel the pins working into the right place, and with a gentle turn, the door opened with an unnoticeable click. With that out of the way, they slunk into the room, carefully on the lookout for any signs of security. The mark was some kind of criminal, which meant that she wasn’t likely to have anything that would call official security, and the woman didn’t seem to have any backing. When it came to the distinction between legitimacy and criminality, the distinction was often arbitrary, but it was a safe bet that someone with this much money could stand to part with it. Once the coast was clear enough, Sozafi started looking around for anything important. Credits, obviously, but anything that could fit in their pack and fetch a good price would be worthwhile. They had good instincts for hiding places, and this mark was definitely the kind to use plenty. Several, like the toilet tank or underside of the table, held holdout weapons like a thin barreled concealable blaster or a vibro-knife. They could stay where they were. There were also plenty of credits already tucked into a bug-out bag hidden in a false bottom of a clothes hamper. Sozafi had no need for the handful of fake scandocs for the togruta, so they left those where they were, but the credits would be very useful. It was an hour into Sozafi’s gentle ransacking that their instincts seemed to lead them astray. Inside another false panel, they found nothing but a strange metal tube. The air of the penthouse seemed to grow cold as the neutrois touched the tube, and pulled it out to better look at it in the light reflecting off of Naboo. “No way…” they murmured, suddenly afraid of the thing in their hands, like one wrong move would release a swarm of ravenous blister fleas down their arm. Sozafi knew it had only been twenty years or something, but this was practically a relic. And contraband. Suddenly all the scandocs, the bugout bag, it all made sense. But still, something inside of the felt… excitement. They could sense the aura of the device. It practically thrummed in their hand. Sozafi held it out, knowing the danger, and reached their other hand out to fiddle with the controls… That was when Sozafi found themself Forcibly lifted into the air and pressed against the ceiling. They hadn’t even heard the woman come in, they were so enraptured by the artifact from a more civilized age. The togruta didn’t even look at it, leaving it where it was on the floor. “Who are you?” She asked, looking up at Sozafi. “How…” The togruta rolled her eyes, and dismissively waved her hand with a sigh. Sozafi fell to the floor, shaky but on their feet. They were thankful for the thick carpeting, but they could tell that some Force had lessened the fall. “Who are you,” the woman said again, this time more pointedly. “I’m no one,” Zae coughed out. They cut a glance to the window. The orange-skinned woman was near the door, but if Sozafi could get to the balcony… Her eyes darted back to the erstwhile mark. “You’re a J--” Before they’d even started to say the word, the togruta spit out “No, I’m not.” There was a tension in the air. Seemed as good a moment as any to make a break for it. Unfortunately the scrumrat didn’t get very far. There were no magic tricks this time, but the togruta was fast, and before taking a step further, she was blocking Sozafi, who actually surprised her by throwing a punch. They didn’t connect of course. The togruta on the other hand did, but Sozafi was no stranger to a punch, and rolled with it. It was followed up by a kick that the older woman didn’t seem like she should have been able to make, and Sofazi had to throw up both her arms to catch it with a block. They weren’t going to stay on the defensive, and lashed out with a blow. It didn’t matter what they did, though, her fists always came up short. A sense of fear started to fill her. This was a legendary warrior. She wasn’t even breaking a sweat. She was toying with them. Sozafi tried to run again, but was jerked back, choked by the collar of their shirt, which ripped as the togruta pulled it. They were spun around, swinging their arm as they did, but once again they hit nothing but air, the woman ducking below the swing, only to throw a series of short, quick jabs to Sozafi’s ribs and breast, knocking the wind out of them. Breathless, Zae saw the old woman stand up tall and lift her thigh up to her heavy chest and kick out like she was going to stomp flat a can of caff. Sozafi threw up their arms to block, but was still sent tumbling back and sprawling over a chair meant more for decoration than comfort. The chair came with them, and by the time they got right side up, the togruta was back in front of them. In a flash of anger, Sozafi remembered the vibro-blade stuck to the bottom of the table, and without even thinking it was in their hand, shooting across the apartment, eliciting a startled gasp from the togruta. They bounded forward, lunging in anger, wanting revenge for all the bruises and pain she’d caused in just the last ninety seconds. And then a sound like metal shearing erupted, and a thin shaft of brilliant green light aimed itself at Sozafi’s throat, her rage disbursed by the soft hum of the lightsaber blade. “Force…” the scrumrat murmured with the tone of a swear, the vibro-blade slipping from their hand, forgotten. “You really are a Jedi…” As if their words were an ion charge, the blade disappeared, and the reverent moment went with it. “No.” The togruta said through clenched teeth. She took a centering breath, closing her eyes, her brow furrowed. Quieter, she finally added “Not for years now. There are no more Jedi.” “Tell me everything.” “There isn’t much to tell,” Azasham said, knowing this kid wouldn’t hear how weighed down with weariness her words were as she sipped the caf. The two had stopped fighting. There wasn’t much point after that. Azasham had tossed her lightsaber aside, and with the same flick of her wrist, both it and the vibro-knife, now deactivated as well, had landed into the chair, which had also righted itself. If she was being honest with herself, Azasham was showing off a little. She hadn’t obviously used the Force like this in… over a decade, at least. And here was this Force Sensitive who had somehow avoided the notice of the empire. Was it because they were here on Onoam? It wasn’t like Palpatine’s home system was free of the bastard’s grip. Beneath the tranquil streets and bustling tourist attractions, miners still toiled for the Empire, and while fully armored stormtroopers were unwelcomed by the galaxy’s elite with their vacation condos and chalets, crisply uniformed Imperial officers helped comfort the wealthy after the terrorist assassination of Moff Panaka three years earlier and had never left. Funny how the rich and powerful could be comforted if you just put the agents of imperial violence in a nicer uniform. Had this guttersnipe managed to stay under the radar for two decades simply because the terrifying black armour and blood-bladed sabers of the Inquisitorius would be too frightening a sight for the members of the ruling class who came to Naboo’s peaceful moon with the luxury of forgetting about partisans and terrorists and unruly systems not yet brought to heel? Or, maybe, a little ember Ashazam wished would burn out already whispered, maybe it was the will of the Force. “What about me?” “What about you?” “Am I Jedi?” Azasham let out a noise that the human neutrois considered rather rude, judging by their facial expression. “No, kid, there’s more to being a jedi than moving things with your mind.” “Teach me, then.” “No.” “You want to,” Sozafi said, more as a statement than a question. Azasham sipped her caf, not a single muscle moving that didn’t have to. “I knew it,” the scrumrat said, eyes lighting up. “I could just kill you,” she offered, only barely hiding her smile. For a second she thought she might have been a little too stoic as the colour drained from the neutrois’ face. But it was only temporary. They weren’t convinced. “You could have killed me from the start, but you knew I was a Jedi,” they said, wheels visibly spinning. Another snort, another glare from the kid. “You’re not a Jedi.” “Yes I am! You saw it. I pulled that knife to me, and I can sense things.” Sozafi’s wheels spun faster as things fell into place. “And I can run up walls! I just thought I was good at parkour… I can do all that because I’m a Jedi.” The knife flew from across the room, causing Sozafi to jump as it whizzed by their head. Azasham put it down on the other side of the table from Sozafi. “Do it again, then, Jedi.” The knife stayed where it was, no matter how much Sozafi glared at it. They even stretched out a hand, fingers forming a claw, wrist slowly turning. There was grunting. Then, their shoulders slumped in defeat. "That's what I thought," Azasham murmured. Something about how she said it must have set Sozafi off. They gave out another growl of frustration and screwed up their face. It happened quickly, a little wiggle at first. Acting before the vibro-blade even moved, Azasham's hand shot out to catch it. The sharp durasteel blade, luckily unactivated, dug into her palm, and her blood dripped into her mug of caf. For the first time tonight her heart rate had spiked. Sozafi had once again lost all their anger, looking at the tip of the blade with wide eyes. It had completely ignored their outstretched hand, assuming right for their face. Without Azasham's lightning reflexes, they'd have been dead. The blade was only inches away from splitting their head like a melon. "Oh fuck, oh fuck", they said jumping up so quick that another chair fell over. Sozafi panicked, looking around the room for something to fix this. "Stop." Sozafi did, though the panic didn't go away. "Towel, by the sink." They blinked for a moment, then rushed to grab it, holding it out as Azasham slowly opened her hand and let the knife fall. It was a mess, but the cut was clean. All that mattered now was staunching the bleeding, but she winced a little more than necessary, playing up how much it hurt. It would do the kid good to be scared. "Now go get my medkit," she said, lekku shifting as she jerked her head to the bedroom. "It's in the bag from my hamper." Once again, the neutrois did as they were told, quicker this time. Maybe this wasn't going to be so bad an idea after all. A few minutes later, as she was gingerly coating her hand in a bacta strip, Sozafi finally spoke up. "So I guess I am a Jedi, then?" They asked, voice cracking a little. Azasham couldn't help but laugh. "No." "Oh come on, seriously?" "You're untrained, and dangerous. You're sensitive to the Force, but that doesn't make you a Jedi." After a pregnant pause, the corner of her lip curled upward and she added "yet." Sozafi vibrated like the activated knife, their face splitting in an excited grin. "You'll need to focus. I could just be training you how to get yourself killed spectacularly. Or I could be creating a monster.” Sozafi laughed nervously, “A monster? Isn’t that a bit dramatic?” Azasham’s durasteel glare made the scrumrat swallow, but their throat caught. “You’re untrained, and that makes you dangerous. Which is why I need to train you. But in doing so, I’ll be making you more powerful.” Sozafi’s eyes brightened in a troubling way, though Azasham couldn’t fault them for the feeling. They did have the sense to feel conflicted about that excitement when Azasham gave a sigh. “The Dark Side is strong in you. I can feel it, particularly when you want something. You’ve killed before, haven’t you? Have you ever called upon the Dark Side to do so?” Azasham wasn’t sure she even wanted to know the answer. Would she have to murder this youngling after all? Would it be easier to spare them being found and turned by the Inquisitorius, or worse, tempted by the Dark Side into abusive relationships, unfocused and untrained as little more than an animal with no restraint? Sozafi was fidgeting, thinking before they spoke, which was at least a good sign. “I… I don’t really know. I’ve called upon the Dark Side, I just don’t think I knew it, and always in fights. And I…” They bit their lower lip, chewing it in thought, “I have killed someone. In self-defense. But only twice. Well, once, I’m pretty sure the other guy survived, just never messed with me again. I don’t use it to cheat or steal or anything” Azasham thought about it for a long moment. What kind of damage had living on the street done? Would the hardships have created a monster? She didn’t want to think that they had, but then again this kid was already growing on her. The eagerness, the excitement. This wasn’t something she had seen from someone in a long time, and certainly not in a Jedi adept. “You were stealing from me,” She pointed out after considering it. Sozafi blushed. “Well, I was going to. But you’re not from Onoam. No one who isn’t from around here other than the miners has good intentions. I thought you were just some rich person, and it doesn’t count if you steal from the rich. They all stole it from the poor.” They narrowed their eyes, and looked around, “wait, how did you get the money for a place like this anyway?” Azasham’s lip curled to show the tips of her pointed teeth. “I stole it from rich people.” Two days later, Sozafi sat cross legged in a field of blue-green grass across from Azasham, who still seemed to be lost in contemplation. They’d come to these empty fields for Sozafi’s first lessons. Azasham had asked them to wait two long days, and now was still waiting. At least it was a nice day. They’d still tried to experiment on their own, just a bit, trying not to get angry as they made a rock rise up from the floor of their poorly kept little one room hovel apartment in the poorer end of the local district. It was frustrating, but knowing that you really can do it tends to make things easier. They hadn’t even bothered to go out running any scams or stealing from anyone, since Azasham had given them enough credits to live off of. An act that mad Sozafi’s eyes go wide, but they never said no to credits. By the end of those two days, Sozafi was slowly pulling their few bits of furniture round the room telekinetically. Azasham hadn’t seemed impress when they told her, demonstrating by levitating a credit stick. Azasham pulled the stick out of the air and wagged a finger at them, looking around the crowded street outside her much nicer apartment as they walked to the alley where her landspeeder was parked. “You have to be more careful about where you use your… talents,” she admonished, one orange finger pointing at Sozafi. The ride had gone by in silence, at least when Sozafi got the hint. And now they were sitting here in the grass, where the city was just a line of colour on the horizon. Waiting for Azasham to finally make up her mind about what to do, Sozafi once again stretched out with their senses. This, too, they had come to realize, was a part of the Force. They’d never been so far away from the hustle and bustle of Onoam’s crowds. Even at night, the city was thrumming with beings experiencing the city’s nightlife. Here, it was… different. The sun warmed everything, and there was still so much life. Sozafi had never really thought about it, but the grass was alive. There was life in the grass--insects and small lizards and rodents, even nesting birds--but the grass itself was also alive, a hundred pinpricks of light all woven together. Suddenly another presence eased itself into being. Not necessarily bigger, but deeper somehow. A being that was both aware and aware of her. Tentatively, Sozafi reached out her senses, just barely brushing the edges with her consciousness “That tickles,” Azasham said, in a rather deadpan voice. Sozafi opened their eyes and nearly fell over. “That was you?!” The togruta smiled a toothy smirk, but didn’t open her eyes. “That was you,” Sozafi said again, righting themself on the blanket. “You’re immense.” Azasham snorted, and opened one eye, “I haven’t had time to watch my figure,” she said with another grin Sozafi blushed, “Not like that, I mean…” They motioned incoherently with their hands. “I felt you. In there. In the Force, I guess.” “In there is everywhere,” she said, finally opening her eyes and relaxing a bit. “You’ve got an awareness of your surroundings. That’s good. That's our first lesson. Are you familiar with midi-chlorians?" “Aren’t those the folks famous for being bounty hunters?” Sozafi asked. Azasham paused for the briefest moment in confusion and then continued. “Midi-Chlorians are symbiotic beings found in all life. They are a part of us, and in turn we are a part of them. They connect us all, and connect to each other. This is the Force. You have the ability to communicate with the midi-chlorians.” Sozafi had begun to stare at their hand, as if they’d see microscopic bugs crawling on it, giving them super powers. They knew that wasn’t quite how it worked, though. Probably. “When you move things, you are working through them. When your actions are in balance, you ask them to move the object.” Azasham demonstrated this by levitating the stones around her. It was nothing compared to the outbursts she made the other night, but the control was astounding compared to the wobbling rise that Sozafi had managed. “But you are powerful, and you are not always in balance. Your emotions get the better of you, and that makes you dangerous.” Sozafi sat quietly, their thoughts swirling. This was a lot to take in. They’d have to take this more seriously than simply throwing rocks around, but that was a lot of responsibility. “When I’ve found balance, what am I supposed to do with this power?” they wondered, tracking one of the rocks as it made a circuit around Azasham, locking eyes with her for a moment as it passed her face, and then nervously snapping back to the rock’s path. “I mean, the Jedi kept peace, right? But I’m just a burglar.” Azasham closed her eyes and thought about the question. It wasn’t one she even knew the answer to. What had she been doing with her power? Was she keeping the peace here on Onaom? No. She wasn’t. She was just being a burglar herself, albeit far more skilled than Sozafi would ever be without training. For over a decade now, she had barely been doing more than surviving. The night came back to her. The night when Hex, Copper, Ransom, and the others had died. The night when the orders they had been born to follow finally came. The blaster fire. The sounds they made as her blades whirred through their plasteel armour. The limbs hitting the ground. She wasn’t sure if it actually was raining on Raxus that night, but she always remembered it that way. But no, she hadn’t even been a peace keeper back then, had she? A lightsaber might arguably keep the peace, but an army of clones? Just how much of the war had Palpatine engineered so that the Jedi and their armies would conquer the galaxy for him? There was no peace to be had there, and certainly no peacekeeping involved in ripping off casinos. So what was the point, then? What reason did Azasham have for teaching this youngling, well past their prime? She looked at Sozafi, so full of determination, and of anger. It was all too familiar. Azasham killed another Stormtrooper, sliding past him and slicing him in half. These weren’t the men she had fought with during the Clone Wars. They were sloppy. Even just seeing them wearing those uniforms, making a mockery of the men she served with, irritated her at this point. “Just die already!’ she shouted in challenge. She came up from her slide with a flourish and knocked a blaster bolt back where it came, causing a trooper’s head to snap backwards as his bucket helmet was caved in. There was only one left, his knees shaking. Azasham stalked forward through the flames of the building, lazily batting blaster fire away, her shoulders slumped. She was barring her sharp teeth, and could practically see herself from his eyes. With her montrals and lekku, and bloody, mess stained clothes she looked like some kind of a monster from his planet’s legends, a fanged demon He had been an idealist at firsts, believing that Palpatine and the Empire wanted to bring peace. But by now he knew better, now he had done horrible things in the name of peace, and with the stalking togruta Jedi survivor coming closer, he couldn’t deny it anymore. She looked like something from Hell come to take penance for his sins. He dropped his blaster and ran. His panicked fleeing was cut short as the armour around his chest crushed inwards, and he was dragged backwards, boots grinding along the dirty floor. “No, please, no!” he shouted, reaching up to take off his helmet, his modulated voice giving way to the cracking begging of a real person. “I’m sorry!” The stormtrooper tried to squirm around, still begging for his life. Azasham glared at him, the icy fury coming off of her choking his screams. She looked into his eyes as the hope, and then life, faded from them. The lightsaber burned his flesh as it cut him smoothly from shoulder to hip, the plasma blade giving just enough resistance that she knew he was there. He held together and whimpered incoherently as he died, stumbling forward. His hands grabbed at Ashasam’s clothes and she watched him, fire still burning. She brought her saber up and stabbed him in the chest, and unneeded move that pushed him away and ended the last few moments of his life. She looked at him, wound up like a Kodashi viper and nothing else to strike at and fill with the deadly venom other species always expected she had. She looked down at her lightsaber, gripping the hilt so tight her orange fingers became pale. Her anger and hatred for the Empire that took everything from her stretched out and collapsed inward, coalescing into her blade. Streaks of unmistakeable crimson cracked through the viridian like Sith lightning, and the humming lightsaber wavering in pain as it was made to bleed. The kyber within lashed out, and pain flashed up Azasham’s arm. She dropped the lightsaber to the ground, blade still emitting. She fell to her knees next to it, reaching out trembling fingers. “I’m so sorry…” she whimpered, wincing as the words left her lips. They sounded so much like that trooper’s words. She touched the hilt, worried that it would turn red again, but the blade stayed green and true. She held the blade up and knelt her head, controlling her breathing and began to meditate. “The Force is with me. I am with the Force…” “Whatever you do is up to you,” Azasham said in the present, her voice giving away very little, but still Sozafi sensed there was something more. “I’m only here to teach you balance. Control.” “Over my powers?” “No, over yourself. But, yeah, kid. You’ll learn all the cool powers. One day you might even need them. You’ve been incredibly lucky, Force preserve you, but there’s no way that will keep up.” Over the next several weeks, Azasham put Sozafi through their paces. That first lesson was easy. If there was one thing that Sozafi could do, it was let their mind wander. Sending out their senses to the vastness of the galaxy was a lot easier than dodging heavy durasteel crates that Azasham moved around first back and forth and then in spiral patterns and finally seemingly at random. Sozafi was still living on their own, but Azasham was loaded, and gave them enough money to afford a decent apartment. Not in the same penthouses that Azasham lived, but now they wouldn’t have to worry about getting stabbed when they were leaving. That had only ever happened once, and it wasn’t deep, but the new place was much better without having to worry about that. After a few weeks of meditating and concentrating, trying to learn how to lift things of their own, and dodging crates as big as they were, Azasham finally started to give Sozafi “lightsaber” training. Except she didn’t want to give her the actual thing just yet. First to learn the forms, they had to use a collapsible baton. “It’s the same thing,” Azasham teased, a baton in one hand and her lightsaber in the other. Sozafi felt the Force as Azasham extended the baton with it while igniting the lightsaber. “See?” Then she turned the one off and let the other collapse. She tossed the less impressive of the two to her apprentice. At one point Sozafi might have been caught off guard, but now their reflexes had been sharpened and they flicked it out in the same motion as the catch. “Yeah, I feel just like a jedi now,” they replied, waggling the security weapon in a way that didn’t at all seem threatening. “Don’t worry, you’ll get the hang of it. We’re starting with forms, you won’t need to swing a laser sword around. “We’ll start with Shii-Cho, the Way of the Sarlaac. This is the first form that a Jedi learns, from the days when lightsaber combat was new…” After that, each day added an additional lesson. Meditation. Stretching. Avoiding obstacles. Lightsaber forms. Meditation. Blaster training. Concentration. Combat training, with and without a weapon. It was grueling, and each night Sozafi would go to bed sore and smiling. There was a meaning to it all. It was different from simply stealing from the rich and pawning their junk and hoping to make it through the week. Every day was another push forward to something. Every so often, at intervals Sozafi could only guess at, they were given a reprieve from lessons, and left to their own devices, often with the instruction to practice some form maneuver or sophisticated telekinetic trick. Running a rock through some maze without touching the side or juggling objects with their mind. These reprieves would happen once every week or two, and could sometimes last days. Sozafi had figured out by now that Azasham was actually some kind of a criminal, and that she often went off world, but it was still a shock when they were commed after a week long hiatus by a grunting and pained sounding Azasham. “Kid…” her voice came from the speaker, distorted and crackling. “Get to my apartment. Hurry.”
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Firstly, let me just say that I love what Expensify does for my business. It has really streamlined the process of getting my employees receipts, reviewing them, and getting them into QuickBooks. I'm curious, however, if other business owners are frustrated with Expensify Marketing. I feel like most products where our business pays the bill and prescribes the solution as a matter of policy, we have the ability to manage how much contact our employees receive from the company. I feel as if, between email marketing and junk on the splash screen after login, Expensify is overwhelmingly pushing the way they think our business should handle expenses onto our employees. From the Expensify Card to Automatic Approval, Expensify thinks there are certain ways things should be done, and tries to market those to the entire employee base... instead of the owner or accounting departments - who actually set the policies. I find it particularly frustrating the Expensify will not allow a company-wide unsubscribe, or management of the email content they send. I expect I'll be looking for Exchange Rules for managing this messaging in the future... but I'm wondering if other small business owners find this as frustrating as I do. Here's an example email that they want my employees to read, while I'm paying those employees to work:
Tl;dr- Starting today, we will donate part of every USD purchase made with your Expensify Card to a purchase-appropriate charitable fund (namely: climate change for travel purchases, homelessness for hotel purchases, hunger for restaurants, etc). We're making this possible through our new direct-reimbursement charitable arm, Expensify.org. Just use the Expensify Card for any business purchase like normal, and you'll earn Karma Points that we'll donate on your behalf, along with an instant notification about which cause that purchase supported. I've spent more than ten not-so-patient years preparing to share this story. But before I do, I need to admit something. Even though we've been used by over a million businesses, and we process tens of billions of dollars in payments… Expensify was never supposed to exist. When my last company got acquired, I was living in the Tenderloin in San Francisco, and passed the same homeless folks on the street every day. There are a lot of opinions on this, but I've never felt super comfortable giving cash directly — especially in a city like San Francisco that (at the time) had good facilities for the homeless, but only if you showed up sober. And if you weren't sober, it might be due to someone giving you cash to spend on drugs or alcohol. So I wanted to help, but I wasn't sure how to do it without doing more harm than good — and I figured the most obvious place to help was not with cash, but food. After some awkward forays bringing people directly into restaurants to get a hot meal, I concluded that it wasn't very scalable. I considered gift cards, but it's a $10 gift card for a $7 value meal; that last $3 is real awkward to use. But what if I made a system that loaded the gift cards on demand for exactly the amount of the purchase, in the few milliseconds while the server is authorizing the transaction? Limit it to 1 purchase per day, for at most $10, and restrict it to restaurants that don't serve alcohol, and voila! A secure platform for feeding the homeless, funded by my personal credit card, with cards I could give to all the regulars I saw in my neighborhood. I went to the banks with this idea and they were like… "Uh, what? How do you deal with PCI compliance, and money laundering, and money transmission licensing, and a million other things? And there is no business model: you are just giving out money on a few dozen cards to people in your neighborhood? There's no way I'll help you. This is too weird, too risky. I'm out." Undeterred, I thought Ok, how do I make this sound safe… boring. What is the most boring application of these cards I can imagine as a cover story… aha! Expense reports! And that is truly what started all of this. So I went back to those banks and they were like "Oh, that sounds safe, boring, and I hate my expense reports too! How does it work?" I was caught off guard by this totally obvious question, because I actually had no idea about this industry and no real intention of building any of it. But I had a huge supply chain of vendors I needed to impress, so I just started saying "yes" to everything everybody asked: "This new iPhone thing, does it support it?" Even though it doesn't have an app store yet so it's impossible, "Yes we totally have an iPhone app." "Does the app scan receipts?" Even though the original iPhone's camera was so bad it made completely illegible receipt images, "Yes, totally we scan receipts." "Does it reimburse through ACH?" I've never heard of those letters before, but "Yes we totally do that." "Does it export to accounting?" "Yes, it obviously exports to QuickBooks and… you know, all the others." And so on. By the time I launched at TechCrunch 50 in 2008, I had a well rehearsed story of a truly magical (albeit completely fictional) expense management system called "Expensify: The Corporate Card for the Masses!" It went something like this: Expensify is a mobile app linked to a corporate card that provides secure access to company funds within strict spending limits and receipt requirements, combined with a next-day cash reimbursement system, all of which seamlessly exports to QuickBooks and every other accounting package in the world. Basically, the same exact technology I wanted to build for my platform for feeding the homeless, but wrapped in a fictional startup. And people loved it. Strangers came up and hugged me, talking about how much time they thought I was going to save them. And I was like… "Uh, cool man, maybe someone will do all that, but definitely not me. I just want to give out cards to hungry people on the street." Then the economy collapsed, my savings were wiped out, and I lost my job all in quick succession. That kind of shock will make anyone reevaluate their priorities, and forced me to adopt a attitude of, "Put on your oxygen mask before helping others" — especially since making a real dent in this problem will require a lot more resources than one guy handing out cards to the people in his neighborhood. So armed with little more than a popular brand for a nonexistent mobile app that did perfect mobile receipt scanning atop a phone with an illegible camera and no app store, I got started. And it all would have ended very quickly, had two lucky things not happened: the App Store opened, creating a free channel to distribute this app, and the next iPhone had an auto-focus camera that took crystal clear receipt images on the road. That kicked off a ten year journey to actually make that mythical dream into a practical reality for millions of people around the world. But over those years, the initial idea has been nagging at me the whole time. Which brings us to today, and why I'm writing this to you now. No, we're not launching the original homeless card idea. (Not yet, at least…) We're launching something much, much bigger. As you might know, we launched the Expensify Card a couple months ago, and it's even better than what I was proclaiming to the world back in 2008. (If you don't already have yours, request it right now in your Expensify Inbox : it's completely free for you and all Expensify customers.) But like all corporate cards, our initial "perks" were focused at business owners — free AWS credits, discounted Stripe fees, and so on. To be clear, those perks are great… if you're the owner. Which there's a 99% chance you aren't, as employees outnumber owners a hundred to one. So while the card we launched in October is by far the best in the world for owners, we want it to be the absolute best for employees too. To be clear, the Expensify Card is already pretty rad for employees: thanks to our integrated eReceipt feature, you almost never need to scan receipts for Expensify Card purchases. Even better, you don't need to pay extra interest on your personal card to extend a zero-interest loan (aka, "expense report") to your employer. And those two features alone in practice are what people love the most. But those benefits are hard to appreciate before experiencing them, so we wanted something a bit easier to imagine to differentiate the card. In the search for some other employee-focused perk to offer, we first checked out the competition. To our surprise, we couldn't find a single company-issued corporate card that offers perks to employees: they're all so focused on offering rewards to business owners for employee spend (which makes sense, as they are the decision-makers), that card issuers ignore the people actually spending the money. So, bad news for basically every corporate card holder in the world. But good news for us that the competition is so easy to beat in this regard! Given this, we started looking at the reward programs of personal cards for inspiration. The most common is something like "1% cash back!" Which basically amounts to a 1% discount on everything you buy. How is that exciting to anybody? I've never seen an ad saying: "Going out of business sale! Everything must go! 1% OFF EVERYTHING!" Then we looked into point programs, but wow, the math is pretty brutal. After you swallow the "hook" of free points to sign up, it's real hard to make the points you earn later justify all the hidden fees and extra interest payments. The large print giveth, the small print taketh away. If "points" were instead called "pennies" then nobody would care about them — even though they aren't even worth pennies. Points are like pennies you can only spend on a full moon at an invisible concession stand guarded by pumas. I'm sure many, many will disagree, but it seems like the whole points game exploits the same statistical fallacies (and questionable motivations) as casinos: the billboards show ordinary people with fists full of money living lavish lives, but in reality the house always wins. Rewards worth hundreds of billions of dollars go unredeemed every year, and most people with rewards cards spend more in fees and interest than the paltry rewards they earn. Reward cards have done an amazing job convincing people that they mint free money or are some kind of status symbol, but really they are just keycards to casinos that have worse odds than the real thing — and when gambling for points, you don't even get free drinks. They're perhaps an effective way to trick people into making poor life choices, but that's not what we had in mind as the inspiration for our card. At the end of the day, the margins on these cards are so incredibly thin that revenue from the program is literally measured in pennies on the dollar — meaning reward programs are fractions of pennies. And when you remove all the marketing spin and statistical subterfuge, splitting something as small as fractions of pennies between a million different cardholders isn't inspiring, to anyone. But what if we instead combined all those millions of fractions of pennies, and put them into the hands of those who need them a whole lot more than we do? What if we weren't trying to fragment millions of pennies between people who are lucky enough to have a credit card, but instead combine them into a central place where they can be collectively spent accomplishing something meaningful? That's the idea behind the Expensify Card's reward program, the spirit of which is best captured by this simple name: Karma Points. The Expensify Card's Karma Points program costs you nothing, and is completely automatic. We're taking the tiny amount that every other provider tries to convince you is a big deal, and instead giving it to someone to whom it is a big deal. In short, we're donating 10% of all revenue (which is way, way more than 1% of profit) from the Expensify Card towards making the world a little better, one swipe at a time. Where does the money go? Like before, we looked to others for inspiration — with Amazon Smile topping the list. But again, we need to be realistic about how much all these pennies add up to. Amazon Smile has donated $156 million to date, which is impressive. But these donations are spread across a million charities, or like $156 per charity. As such, instead of fragmenting our donations and barely creating a dent in a million charities, we decided to concentrate them and thereby create a meaningful dent in fewer places. To maximize simplicity and participation in the program (which again is completely free and automatic for you — like Smile, but without needing to remember to do it), we've picked five areas to fund that are organized around keeping people off the streets, getting hungry kids meals, and climate change. And rather than asking you which fund to support, we're going to pick one for you based on the type of purchase you make: • Expensify.org/hunger - Buy a meal; give a child reliable access to school lunch • Expensify.org/homes - Book a hotel; reunite someone with their family for good • Expensify.org/climate - Book a flight; capture carbon to mitigate the worst effects of climate change • Expensify.org/youth - Buy office supplies; reconnect graduating foster kids and parents • Expensify.org/reentry - Pay your bills; help someone get back on their feet after incarceration While this automatic offsetting feature is built into every purchase with the Expensify Card, no company has perfect corporate card compliance. So for those companies that want to go a step further by offsetting their non-Expensify Card purchases, please enable our Corporate Offset feature, which will automatically make a donation just like we do for our Expensify Card, but for all your approved expenses. Not in a position to decide this for your company but you still want to participate? No problem: enable Personal Offsets and we'll use the same logic to make a donation for each purchase you track with Expensify, whether for business or pleasure. Not an Expensify user yet? Still no problem: go to Expensify.org/donate to join as a founding member for only $20/month. Regardless of how you join, once a member you'll be a part of creating something new and special, and will be the first in line for future events and initiatives that even this overly long newsletter doesn't have room to discuss. And that's it! Now you know the secret to Expensify's origin, how the Expensify Card fulfills our original dream (albeit in a different, better form), and how Expensify.org is a new kind of charity building a global community based on transparent and direct engagement with people in need. It's not quite as splashy as 2 Chainz and Adam Scott in our Super Bowl ad last year . But as this new decade opens upon a series of challenges almost impossibly daunting, it seems clear we need everyone to take a second look at what resources they have at their disposal that could be more constructively applied — the most important of which is time. We are inundated by messages, messengers, and memes calculated to enrage us all, to a point of paralysis. There are countless thousands of engineers who are devoted to perfecting social networks, seemingly designed for little purpose but to reinforce our confirmation biases by scouring the global detritus of amateur tabloids. There are countless millions of people crafting these messages, using these tools, and harnessing your incapacitating anger to further their ends. It's easy to give up, to accept that They are responsible, and that You are helpless. My resolution in 2020 is to turn off that noise, and I'd ask you to do the same. Turn off the talking heads on TV. Turn off the echo chamber online. Stop being the fuel for their machines. Stop caring so much about the outrageous thing that person you don't know did in that place you can't find on a map, and redirect that caring to the people living on the street outside your door, to the kids struggling to get lunch at your kid's school, and into truly constructive action to solve the sobering problems facing this world. At Expensify, we saw an opportunity to transform an expense management platform literally picked because it was the dullest thing in the world, into a globally-distributed platform for locally-applied charity. We spent a staggering amount of time, money, and creativity to make it real. But we're just one company. The Expensify Card is our way of helping all companies not just save hours doing expenses, but truly combine forces to save the world, one swipe at a time. This is our world after all, and for the foreseeable future, we've only got the one. Let's make the most of it. -david Founder and CEO of Expensify Sent by: Expensify, Inc - 548 Market St #61434 - San Francisco, CA 94103
I just feel like, if I'm paying Expensify every month, I should be able to control what they email to my employees. I did ask Expensify Support, and they indicated that each employee must unsubscribe directly. What do you think? Is this good business? EEDrew
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I see this post so often, and I'm amazed that people have trouble of thinking of things to do in an urban environment, so I thought I'd lend a hand. Thanks as always to The Gollicking members, Mimir-ion, Zweefer, RexiconJesse, u/arc_onyx, InfinityCircuit and DeathMcGunz. I've built a lot of cities. I find that its best to categorize.
Arts (Theater, dance, art, music)
Nightlife (Drinking, dancing, sex)
Shopping (Basics and Luxury)
Entertainment (Museum, Library, Zoo, Circus, Auction, Sage)
Sports (Team and Solo, and includes Gambling)
Nautical (Fishing, diving, sailing, yachting)
Here's my personal city encounters lists, slightly altered with worldbuilding details to be more generic and useful. They are yours to take, amend, and discard, with my thanks. There are 6 categories, with 20 entries for each category, giving us 120 encounters. (160 with the comment, below) A d6 and a d20 can dice up a full roster of stuff to do quite quickly. Enjoy!
ARTS (01)
Free outdoor art gallery with paintings, sculpture, food vendors and musicians. A note is passed to the party from a stranger.
A new play from a famous playwright is debuting at the local theater. The party receives an invitation from an anonymous source via a messenger.
A street band is playing raucous tunes outside the party's lodgings and a crowd prevents them from entering. If they persist, they accidentally start a brawl.
A festival is being held in the city and all citizens and visitors are required to attend and pay fealty to the city's ruler. During the parade an explosion destroys some buildings and kills nearly 100 people. The party is very close to the blast and sees a hooded figure fleeing via rooftop.
A local busker who always recites bad elven poetry is found one morning turned to stone.
A band of mimes have come to the city to perform a series of comedy shows. One of the mimes is a Doppleganger and is here to assassinate one of the party's allies.
A dance troupe, known for their public and surprise appearances (a "flashmob"), starts a performance in and around the party in the street. During the performance one of the dancers lunges at one of the party members and whispers, "Help me" in their ear, before carrying on with the spectacle.
A mysterious sculpture garden has "sprouted" in a main city street, seemingly grown from the very ground itself. All of the figures are depictions of body horror and some spectators have been driven mad or died after looking at them for too long.
Artist paints caricature portraits of passers-by which come to life at night to cause havoc.
There is a sand castle contest at the local beach. While digging a pit one contestant finds a wooden chest. It is sealed with arcane sigils and very dangerous. Inside is a lifeform.
The party is asked to investigate a local art gallery as the last known location of a model that has disappeared. The party finds extremely life like statues of various people, missing model included, and discovers the sculptor is a Maedar, with a pet Basilisk, trying to replicate his dead mate (a Medusa).
The party is invited to a studio for free painting lessons. The paint fumes trigger a spell that sends the party into a collective Dream. They must find their way out and defeat the Artist-Wizard and his pet Nothic before they are bled dry (to fuel a hideous ritual).
An audience-participation theater-event is occurring in one of the parks, and the party is encouraged to join, and are asked to put on some simple costumes. Upon doing so, they are swapped with hidden Clones, who continue the performance, while the party is teleported to an underground prison full of holding cells. There are dozens of other trapped citizens there.
A new popular song is all the rage and being sung by drunken bravos and university students alike. The song has a 10% to transfer an audio-parasite, that will drive the singer mad and ultimately into a catatonic state over the course of 7 days. During this time they will be compelled to sing the “hook” over and over, in the hopes of infecting any nearby listeners.
A master tattooist has set up a temporary shop on the fringes of the city. For a hefty fee, the customer will receive an exquisite piece of personal art, and on full moons, the tattoo will be able to sense the presence of magic, poisons, disease, or creature types (DMs choice). The master will leave after 24 hours, never to be seen again and the tattoo will fade completely after 30 days.
An artist is painting landscapes on the street. She says she’ll paint any place the customer desires. For a fee, she can make the painting a one-time portal to that place. The portals always go to the wrong location (this is discovered after travel has occurred).
A local homeless man, who mimes for money along the Promenade and in the Park, suddenly finds his invisible walls and pretend ropes are real. Passersby run into invisible walls of force left behind by him, people are dragged to him by his invisible rope, and he now hides in a corner of the park, afraid he will hurt others with this newfound power. The local Telekinesis Guild (bunch of filthy impostors and con artists, mostly) are furious that he has what they secretly do not, and has put a bounty on him, paid upon live delivery to their guild house.
A local street band is performing the show of their life and the music has become magical. Any Bards present will be able to “draw” 1-3 new spells from the performance. All others will be Blessed for the next 48 hours.
An artist has set up a crude telescope, pointing at the ground. For a small fee, you can look through the telescope and see a miniature world, full of tiny blue humanoids in a stone-age environment. The telescope is enchanted with a very detailed Major Illusion spell that allows the humanoids to be seen, and is also Cursed to drive the viewer mad by causing them to see the tiny blue humanoids everywhere they go. The curse will begin 24 hours after using the telescope and will persist for 30 days or until the victim goes mad, or dies. The Curse will manifest the humanoids as watching, then menacing, then threatening, then murderous.
Some Elven sculptors have set up a “Century Garden” - plinths of stone overhung by apparatus with funnels in different angles and locations that drip acids onto the stone - slowly forming the final form of the artists vision. The artist is selling tickets (valid in 100 years) to attend the ceremony.
NIGHTLIFE (02)
A local tavern is showcasing a new lager and a spruiker is on the streets handing out "1/2 off" coupons to passersby. The party is given "2 free drinks" coupons on purpose by the NPC. A stranger is waiting inside that wants to talk to the party.
A dance club, on a typical night, has been infiltrated by an Avatar of Bacchus and has caused the party to spill into the streets where it has been pulling in passersby. The party is caught up in the crowd.
An exclusive nightclub has opened, membership only. One of the party’s allies goes missing and was last seen there. The club is a coven of Sorcerers and every night they sacrifice a kidnapped customer to try to summon an Eldritch Horror.
A hot club in town is secretly run by vampires. Cover charge is 1 pint of blood. Thralls being thralls, one of them talks, and a Hunter has gotten wind of the nest. The party will see him interrogating a thrall and escalating to torture.
A drunken brawl spills out of a tavern near the party. The fight is brutal, involving makeshift weapons and ends up overtaking the party. If they do not flee, during the fracas the party notices that one of the brawlers is biting his opponents and swallowing the flesh. If they do flee, they hear the next day that a pile of half-eaten bodies was discovered in the aftermath. A new zombie-master has come to town.
While out drinking, the party sees a Silver Elf enter the tavern, and time slows to 50% of its current speed for all but the party and Elf, who remain at 100%. The Elf asks the party if they would like to play a game of chess. If they say no, the Elf vanishes, and time returns to normal. If they agree they must wager a precious/strong/important memory against the answer to any question. The Elf has an INT modifier of +4 and a +4 proficiency in gaming. Upon the conclusion of the game, the Elf vanishes and time returns to normal. The bar patrons never see the Elf.
While in a tavern, a game of darts among some locals concludes in violence and 2 end up dead. On one of the deceased bodies is a treasure map that leads to a guarded vault in the wilderness.
A particularly virulent STD is going around the brothels. Over the course of 72 hours it turns the afflicted into a receptor for mental dominance from a powerful psion. The “Mind Taker” uses these puppets to rob the afflicted and deliver their valuables to a guarded location. Then the psion drains the puppet of its final mental faculties and stores it as an energy source for later. The bodies are then destroyed using a Rod of Disintegration. One of the party’s allies (or a party member themselves) has come down with a case of “The Threads” (so named for the red lines of infection radiating from the genitalia into the legs and torso.
A dance club has been cursed by a witch to afflict some (30%) of the customers with “Otiluke’s Irresistible Dance”. Some patrons have been dropping dead from it and the club owners are covering it up by secretly burying the bodies in the basement and drugging the witnesses. The party is present for this or one of their allies goes missing.
A man attempting to throw a party so massive he will officially become “the God of Partying” wants the players to help him throw an absolute rager. If they help, he will remember them fondly when he reaches godhood. The party could overrun the region/city.
The party finds a club throwing a rager in the party’s honor. All night, people toast the party members, dance with them, and celebrate. No one in the party has to pay for drinks. The next day, the party gets the bill for everyone's drinks. The tavern was told the event was for the party and would be paid for by them as well.
A new fad in the high-end taverns of the city, catering to young noblemen with too much money and not enough sense, is a drink called The Kiss. One part grain alcohol, one part pufferfish venom - a shot of this causes hallucinations and numbness, in addition to more than the usual drunkenness. Two young men, heirs to fortunes and titles in the court, have died in the last two nights. Word is they drank too many of these. The noble families want blood, and put bounties on all known bartenders serving This Kiss. The guard don’t want a riot on their hands if they interfere with the Mixologist’s Guild, the most powerful multinational trade guild in the world. A representative from the Crown has summoned the party, to discreetly investigate the explosive situation.
A group of drunks stumble towards the party and push through/past them. During this, the party will each be subject to a Pickpocket attempt (+8 Sleight of Hand). If discovered, the “drunks” are a pack of rogues who “own” this territory. If challenged, they will flee and return with a number of Thugs equal to the number of party members.
A grifter comes up to the party and bets that they can guess “where you got your boots/shoes”. The answer is “on your feet” (where the footwear currently is). The grifter will demand a small amount of cash after this, and will become hostile if denied or hassled.
An avatar of Bacchus/Dionysus appears in the area and begins a Revel. Those who hear the music or see the dancing/drinking must save vs Wisdom (DC 20) or join in. The Revel will last for 72-96 hours and leave partygoers with 3 levels of Exhaustion (and be many miles from where it started).
A Dwarven “thrashgnome” band is throwing an impromptu concert on the roof of a local tavern. The noise is deafening and a large brawl will erupt after awhile - during the fracas an object will find itself at the feet of one of the party members. It is a powerful Fetish that was stolen from a Witch (who has been seeking it, and is nearby).
The party enters a tavern to discover their money is “no good” and they are suddenly crowned “Lager Kings/Queens” for the night, and feted and welcomed by each individual tavern patron. The party will, as the sun rises, be poisoned by the insinuative poison that was in each successive drink, and if they fail a Con check vs a high DC, they will be magically Sleep’ed and find themselves strapped to a basement altar for a hatchling Gold Dragon to feed upon. If they succeed on the check, they are very ill and considered Incapacitated for the next 24 hours.
A new tavern has appeared in the area, and will vanish after the night’s festivities to appear in a random location in the world the next night. The tavern patrons are all Fey, and this is the “Wandering Druid Pub”.
A dealer is handing out “free tokes” of a new narcotic. The narcotic is powerful and hallucinatory, but harmless otherwise, except for the addiction rate, which is near 100%. A Con check vs a high DC is required. If failed, the user must take the drug again in the next 24 hours or suffer 2 levels of Fatigue. Every day without the drug thereafter confers another level of Fatigue. If the check is passed, they will become violently nauseous every time they take the drug again.
A group of Gnomish Brewmasters have set up a tasting booth on the street and are giving out free samples of “Old Brown Mare” - a powerful stout that has a tiny side effect - 10% of the imbibers are shrunk to Gnomish height for 24 hours.
(OPTIONAL) - A cadre of bound Incubi and Succubi have escaped from a brothel and are desperately seeking an escape from the area. They will make any deal possible to make this happen.
SHOPPING (03)
While looking for weapons, a party member "accidentally" activates a sentient weapon, who declares the party member as "master" and demands to know what has happened since it was "put to sleep".
While shopping, one or more of the party members is pickpocketed by a young kid who is part of an "urchin gang". This gang is an arm of one of the more powerful rogue guilds in the city.
A street vendor is selling “gag gifts”, guaranteed to ensure the perfect prank. All the objects are cursed, and the vendor reveals this as if they were joking, as part of the shtick.
Upon purchasing a normal mundane item, it is found to be hollow, with an unknown substance hidden inside of it. If left undiscovered, the person who sold it will try to get the item back, by negotiation or violence, it depends on the party’s willingness to part with it.
A certain type of plush toy is all the rage in this city, and the party will acquire one upon their next purchase - all the merchants were paid to distribute these as “customer incentives.” The toys act as scrying focus for the local thieves guild. The party’s lodgings will be robbed within 24 hours obtaining the toy.
An extraordinary amount of the richer folk of the town have gathered on the plaza. Gregory’s Golden Garments has arrived back in town from one of his far-off trading junkets. He brings the most exclusive textiles and materials to town, and the auction has started (dragon-skins, silk, etc.). During the auction, someone purchases a rare bolt of material and the party finds it in their room later, with instructions to hide it. If they don’t, a group of Assassins come looking for it. If they do, they will be contacted by a mysterious agent who asks them to transport it far away for a hefty fee.
An Annual Food Festival kicks off with much fanfare. However, someone has poisoned the foodstuffs and half the city is sick with nausea and other vile emissions. The organisers, afraid to lose their heads, have set a hefty bounty for finding the culprit(s), and one of these pamphlets is pushed on the party.
While shopping for weapons, a woman approaches the party and asks them to sell a weapon for her, as she cannot. She explains that the weapon is Cursed and will not allow itself to be sold by the owner. If the party agrees, she looks visible relieved and hands the item over. Now the weapon belongs to the party member who took it (and it cannot be sold). The item is a -1 weapon.
A small purse keeps whispering at a player for them to buy it. It remains silent when others are observing it and refuses to talk if it thinks anyone else can hear it. It says it can help them (count money, hide it from pickpockets, and offer insight) if they give it something in return (it wants costly gemstones).
Every store and restaurant the party enters seems to be run by the same person. If confronted, they laugh and say they “get that all the time”, but will profess ignorance otherwise. The merchants are all Dopplegangers and today is their “Day of Pranks”. If two merchants are forced together, they will become violent and the others will run out to join them.
The party finds a flyer shoved under their lodging’s door that promises “75% off all Adventuring Gear” at a local merchant. The merchant is very chatty and inquisitive and will press the party for information about where they are going next. The merchant then sells this information to a gang of rogues who will follow the party and attempt to rob them as they exit the dungeon.
While shopping for clothes, a party member hears a weeping noise. No one around seems to be crying, so if this is investigated, the member finds a top hat that seems to be the source. If the hat is put on, the party member is Cursed with a particularly nasty form of melancholia.
The next time an item of clothing is purchased, the party member discovers that it has a large “Pocket Dimension” concealed within its folds. There is an object already inside the pocket.
A beautiful man/woman approaches the lowest CHA party member and offers to make their “dreams come true” if they will sell their soul. The man/woman will cast a real Wish on behalf of the party member (which works without the usual DM fuckery, but will expire in 1 year, and a group of Devils will appear to collect the player’s soul). If refused, the man/woman will leave, but if confronted, they will flee. The man/woman is a mortal humanoid who simply shills for a Crossroads Devil.
While shopping for arrows/projectiles, the merchant offers the party a “one-time deal” of some special projectiles that are “guaranteed to strike their target every time” and will demonstrate this quality in a shooting lane set up in the back of the shop. The projectile will work as promised within the shop itself, without limit, but outside the shop, the first 3 only will work as promised and the rest will automatically fail-to-hit. If confronted later, the shopkeeper will claim ignorance and claim the party member is lying (even going so far as to call the Watch for harassment).
The city is having a 50% sale, city-wide, for the next 24 hours. Rogues know this too, and are everywhere, preying on the crowds, or following them home to be robbed later.
While shopping for provisions, the merchant says they are looking for “exotic meat hunters”, and will pay top prices for “anything unusual” without limit, provided the meat is delivered dressed.
A new confectionery store has opened and is giving away free samples in the streets. The sweets are mildly intoxicating, and have the added side-effect of making those who eat them very amorous for the next 8 hours. The owners are clerics of the Deity of Love.
An arsonist is burning down merchant shops, by “category”. The perpetrator is a failed businessperson themselves, and is merely seeking revenge. The first things burned are the weapon and armor shops.
While shopping for armor, the merchant offers to show the party a “special selection” of exotic armor. These are all very unusual and very expensive. This is a one-time offer that will never be repeated and if confronted, the merchant will claim ignorance as to the existence of the exotic armors, and if the shop is searched, they are nowhere to be found.
ENTERTAINMENT (04)
The party receives an anonymous gift of entry passes to an exclusive and private club in the city. At the club, the party is approached by cultists who attempt to persuade the party into joining.
The museum is showcasing some rare artifacts. While visiting, the party is present during the brazen theft of one of the objects - an item of unique and dangerous powers.
Zoo animals have escaped and are menacing the population!
A local sage sends an urgent message to the party about a matter of great importance. The sage, a bit senile, has gotten mixed up and this is not the group he was supposed to contact. He does not realize this and treats the party as if they were hired to retrieve a book from an old, guarded crypt. If the party refuses, the Sage will eventually be foolish enough to try it himself and the party will hear about his death.
A public estate sale of one of the city’s wealthiest families is announced. The prices are high, but the quality equally impressive. In the announcement is an object that the party or one of the party members has been looking for. If they attend the sale, they discover the price is three times higher than they can afford (even after pooling money or getting a loan). The security is strong but not impossible...
The museum is showcasing the preserved remains of a long-dead monster race as part of a traveling exhibition. During a tour, or at night when closed, the monsters are revived by an interested party, and they go on a murderous spree. They attack either the party (along with many others) or one of the party’s allies.
A series of foreign street magicians has entered town and perform solo acts all over town. One of them is near the party, and they need a volunteer for a (permanent) disappearing act.
A street corner storyteller is spinning a tale of adventure and peril to a crowd. The tale sounds suspiciously like the last adventure the party had.
While eating, the party sees a puppet show happening nearby. They find it (magically) difficult to avert their eyes from the felt performers and can see figures moving out of the corners of their eyes. These are Oblique Golems, and can only move when not being viewed. The golems will attempt to rob anyone nearby. The puppets are just puppets.
An Escape Room boasts a valuable prize for any group who can escape/solve the room before the hourglass fills. Several of the puzzles in the escape room align runes and involve magic words of power. If the party manages to complete the room, they complete the spell, finding a portal now open above the building. Demons pour from it into the town, and it cannot be closed for at least 24 hours.
Some fire-jugglers are performing in the street, and they appear to be using magic to create illusionary figures that leap from the burning torches. These are actually Mephits, and the fire-jugglers did not summon them, they appeared on their own. They run off to cause havoc and burn as much of the city as they can.
A local casino is offering big prizes to “Spin the Wheel” - with only a 5% chance of winning, this is mostly a scam, but those who play are Wizard-Marked to be robbed later. The prizes for actually winning are 4-figures.
A pig-racing track has been cordoned off - turning the streets into the racecourse. All are welcome to enter, and whoever wins is offered a lucrative contract joining the “Hog Ridin’ Circuit” - a racing tournament involving half-a-dozen cities and some very shady dealings.
A masked spruiker hands the party an ornately engraved thin metal plaque inviting them to an exclusive event at a place called “The Garden”, and a map is etched on the reverse side. The event, if attended, presents the party with an opportunity to travel to another plane and earn the favor of a powerful, if enigmatic figure.
A group of acrobats are performing feats and stunts in the street. During the performance, one of the party members sees the face of one of the tumblers momentarily change into something monstrous.
A pair of dueling Illusionists is staging an elaborate mock-battle in a nearby park, but neglected to inform anyone of this beforehand and have caused a panic.
A tour group suddenly appears and engulfs the party. The guide is pointing out places where famous adventurers have died, and suddenly points right where the party is standing and begins discussing them as if they were not there! The tour group can not be interacted with (as they are projections from the future) and soon quickly departs and vanishes around a corner.
A street lottery is being held by a local neighborhood social group. The cost is low and any tickets purchased are said to go towards upgrading the local park. There is a 50% that the party wins a modest prize of home-baked goods. The locals will send a message to the party later that their tickets were fraudulent and demand a return of the prize or the equivalent value in currency. This “lottery” is a common scam run in the area on obvious tourists.
During an previous-announced free concert by some famous Bards, a bomb explodes.
A street comedian is inadvertently casting “Tasha’s Hideous Laughter” on audience members. The phenomenon is soon discovered and the comedian flees. Later, he is found dead and covered in a thin slime.
SPORTS (05)
The party receives an anonymous gift of tickets to a local sporting match. If they attend, they are approached by an NPC who says they represent a "person who wishes to remain nameless, but desires to procure your services in a delicate, and potentially dangerous matter."
The party is invited by a local ally to attend a boxing match. At the match both fighters are killed by a powerful assassin who works in secret for a local politician.
The party attends a game of skill and is accused of bribing a ref to throw the game by a rogue (who did actually rig the fight, but now has been caught and is desperate). A few of his crew will back him up and some of the crowd sides with them.
A marathon race has been scheduled to wind through the city as part of a larger season of racing. A number of famous people and some talented locals will participate. During the race, several of the runners suddenly collapse and begin coughing blood. This is the start of a disease outbreak, and will, without precautions, infect over half the city in only 72 hours. The source is magical in nature, and part of a larger scheme to cripple the city by a secret faction.
A bare-knuckle street match has been set up by an enterprising rogue/wizard. A series of ringers are inviting all-comers to challenge for a fat purse. Those who fight are wizard-marked, and followed later, to be kidnapped and bound for a fighting-arena in the Underdark.
An illegal horse race, infamous in the city for causing multiple deaths every year, is about to commence once again. The street the party currently finds themselves in will turn into the aftermath of a battlefield within several seconds. The race has no rules and is heavily wagered upon by the criminal elements of the city.
A “Circus Maximus” involving blood-sport, animal fighting, and a “nautical spectacle” is going to be held at the city’s largest stadium. The public is allowed to sign up to fight in one of the 3 events. The purse for winning is generous (5 figures) and is, of course, rigged and being carefully watched by the strongest Rogues Guild in the city, who stand to make a pile of money. If the party participates, they will see that some of their opponents have been enchanted with speed and strength.
An annual Guards Competition is about to commence. They are divided into 4 teams, and the locals have lifelong and fierce loyalties
In one quarter is an annual event - the Endurance Drinking Contest. A group of competitors take a shot, perform a task, take a shot, perform a different task, repeat. The winner gets a trophy, their portrait on the wall of winners, and bragging rights. The tasks range from silly to nearly impossible.
A mounted race is about to commence, and the party runs into a thick crowd along the edges of the route. If the party chooses to stay to watch, they will see one of the riders being assassinated from a position high above the streets by a mage’s spell.
A traveling ball-team is looking for a manager and some bodyguards, and one of the party’s allies has recommended the party, as a joke. The team shows up where the party is to conduct an interview.
A boxing match has resulted in a death and the angry and bewildered crowd has spilled out into the streets in a terrible brawl, hurting bystanders and destroying property. If the body is examined, 3 small holes in the back of the dead boxer’s neck can be found and 3 small projectiles found inside the wound. The trail leads to a mage’s henchman.
Illegal cart-racing has been taking place at night among the city’s youth and an ally of the party is terribly worried about their child’s possible-participation. The racing will soon claim lives.
The Dozens has arrived in the city - a nationwide, very famous content of insults and put-downs. The entry fee is to survive a round-robin of burns during The Throwdown, where hundreds will enter. The prize is bragging rights, a 4-figure cash prize, and the chance to defend their title next year.
An ally of the party has entered a marathon footrace. During the race, the ally disappears.
A Fishing Derby, the 1st of 3 contests each year, is being held by any who wish to pay the modest entry fee. There is only one rule - you cannot use a traditional rod/reel, fly, or net/seine to catch the fish. The Derby draws the inventive and the mad, and lasts over 3 days.
A professional team of Goliath and Dwarven “Chicken Fighters” arrive at the city for an exhibition match in the city’s swimming pool. One of the Goliath recognizes a party member (whether the members also remembers them, or not) and offers free tickets. During the match, one of the Dwarves is hurt, and after a flurry of rules-consultations, its determined that a substitute is allowed. The party is looked at by the Goliath and asked for help.
A ping-pong match is being staged between Royal cousins, to settle a dispute. The match is going to be public, and during it, both Royals disappear and are replaced with monkeys. Uproar ensues.
The party finds out there is an underground avian-fighting event happening below the tavern. When they go to investigate, they find a goose and a rooster on opposite sides of a metal chess board pushing the pieces around randomly. A ref resets illegal moves and pulls captured pieces from the board. The crowd roars wildly, screaming for their bird to win the game. The party is approached by a grifter who says he knows who’s going to win and will sell the info. The grifter’s prediction will prove right 2 times, then wrong the 3rd time.
An illegal blood-sport fighting match has caused the death of a local celebrity and the party has been framed for the murder.
NAUTICAL (06)
A local ally invites the party on a fishing trip. While on the trip, the vessel is attacked by a desperate band of Kuo-Toa, who appear to be diseased and attack with a more-than-usual savage aggression.
The city is holding a yachting regatta and the party is present when one of the ships catches fire. Many accusations are bandied about and most seem to blame one of the city’s administrators who had a grudge.
A seasonal storm rushes over the city does significant (and costly) damage to the local fleets (and any ships the party might have moored here). Trade and travel is stalled and only a hefty bribe and some forceful diplomacy can secure any movement needs that the party might have.
A local mad-wizard-inventor is launching a submarine and has asked for volunteer pilots and crew. If the party accepts, they are attacked by a great white shark. If they do not, the sub is sunk by the shark. The mad-wizard will try again next month with a new design. If the shark has been killed, this version will find a sunken treasure worth a king’s fortune.
The party is invited to a beach party by an ally. While there, a number of party-goers find themselves suddenly growing gills and webbed feet and toes and a strong urge to enter the ocean. They have been drugged by a Sahuagin Sorcerer, who is trying to build an “amphibious army” to attack the town and destroy it.
A large number of Brachia (Crab-Folk) have surfaced in the bay and are attempting to communicate via the Dream spell (which will manifest as the entire town committing suicide, and this will be dreamed en-masse by the locals). This dream is not a threat, but a warning of what will happen if the townsfolk don’t rid themselves of a recently-acquired magic item (by the party themselves, or by another adventuring group). They have 72 hours to unravel the mystery.
A number of Were-Sharks are attacking swimmers at night (mostly kids/young adults out partying on the beach). These therianthropes are not aware of their actions, but know something is wrong. While shape-changed, they work as a team, like wolves.
While passing a street they encounter a group of semi-drunken sailors. The sailors start a brawl with the party, for their fun. When magic or weapons are used things will get nasty as the sailors will pull shivs, long knives, chains, and cudgels.
Something has turned the ocean red and fish are dying in great numbers.
A large statue that could be worth a lot is trapped in a cavern in the water. If the party can retrieve it without additional help, they can claim it as their own, sell it, and keep all of the profits. If they enlist any help, the local authorities will take over the operation and claim the statue for themselves.
During a sailboat race, a school of merfolk begin harassing and destroying the boats.
A group of traveling sailors try to sell famous and popular books, paintings, and equipment to the party at a great price. Upon closer inspection, the items appear to be forgeries.
A seadragon is heading for the coast, but rumor has it she will slumber if told a bedtime story. In order for her to hear it, the party must intercept her and shout the story from aboard a ship. But it better be a good story.
An ocean water spirit wants to visit a fellow spirit friend who is further inland. They will make a path over land of water they can travel through. The party can try to convince the spirit to follow their path and plot a nondestructive course, or they can try to stop the spirit from visiting their friend through force.
For three days, no one has been able to catch a fish with a hook and line. Nothing even bites, something just cuts the lines before any fish can bite.
Tidal Wave!
A local surfer has gone missing and only his surfboard is found on the beach, covered in a black slime. Days later, his head (missing the eyes) washes ashore.
An Aboleth has awoken in the bay and starts calling minions to serve it. Some of them are townsfolk, and possibly the Mayor as well.
A waterspout threatens the docked ships in the harbor. It is not a natural occurrence.
A pack of Scrag (Sea Trolls) have started plucking beachcombers from the shoreline.
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